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Imagine: in a bar you see how a man begins to show obvious signs of attention to a girl who is clearly unfamiliar to him, sitting at the counter. He lets out sebaceous compliments and offers to “walk under the moon”. There is no reciprocal enthusiasm from her, but she does not stop communication either. How to recognize if she enjoys such an interaction or would she be happy to help?
Flirting is an integral part of a romantic relationship between a man and a woman. At first, with its help, we show our interest, and later we maintain the desired degree of pleasant excitement.
However, sometimes this process does not bring pleasure, and we experience fear, embarrassment and disgust, because the flirting is done against our will. So where is the fine line between flirting and ?
Family psychologist and sexologist Maria Arefieva suggests defining these concepts in detail:
- Flirtation – this is a subtle style of communication that contributes to the establishment of sympathy between two people;
- sexual harassment – actions through which a person wants to obtain sexual satisfaction.
We all react differently to stress and anxiety: some will scream, while others will close in on themselves.
What different ends and means, right? Let’s imagine a situation: in a bar we see a pretty lonely girl at the bar. Suddenly, a man approaches her and begins to show his interest in every possible way. How to understand what is in front of us: flirting or harassment?
“Not always the victim of harassment will openly fight back or, even more so, call for help,” Maria Arefieva is sure. How a person behaves, in her opinion, is influenced by several factors:
- The degree of familiarity with the harassing person. If a stranger scares us right away, then a guy with whom we have been friends for ten years can lull our vigilance because of the trust we have in him.
- Fear. We all react differently to stress and anxiety: some will scream, while others, on the contrary, will close in on themselves.
- Upbringing Some people literally absorbed with mother’s milk that the best reaction to extraordinary situations is to be silent and smile. Therefore, even if the victim of harassment smiles or laughs, this does not always mean that she enjoys the company of the interlocutor.
Types of reactions to sexual harassment
To understand whether it is worth intervening in a situation, you need to carefully monitor what is happening for some time. Different types of personality react to sexual harassment in different ways, says Arefieva.
1. Cholera
Such people are quick-tempered, and therefore fear will be clearly visible even in the eyes. In most cases, a choleric person will respond to harassment with aggression, will try to leave or try to attract the attention of passers-by.
2. Sanguine
People with this temperament are likely to get nervous, but will continue the conversation, trying to steer it in a different direction. At the same time, they will be noticeably nervous. For example, a girl can twist a glass with her fingers, look at her watch too often, or fix her hair.
3. Melancholics
A person with this type of personality is likely to close in on himself, confused and silent. So, if you see a girl with a haunted look, and next to her a strange man, come up, it will not be superfluous, since she herself is unlikely to .
4. Phlegmatic
In this case, the reaction may be similar to melancholic. Such girls, for example, may burst into tears from tension and stress, it will also be difficult for them to seek help on their own.
Who is in front of you?
In addition, it is worth paying attention to the one who initiates communication. By his behavior, one can also guess with what intentions he approached the girl.
1. Pick-ups
In bars and clubs, you can still meet men who practice coaching exercises in pick-up techniques of seduction. Tasks can be immoral, and therefore can harm the girl’s psyche and her self-esteem.
2. Aggressors
Such a man initially has an increased level of aggression towards women. “Partly this is due to the viewing of modern pornography and other erotic content, which is characterized by cruelty towards a woman, which forms a sexual culture among different categories of men.
Such a man may initially hate women. It is this type that will try to put the pathogen into your glass while you do not see, ”notes Maria Arefieva.
3. Mentally unhealthy people
The most unexpected guy. Can use all methods up to coercion and threats, including weapons.
4. People under the influence of alcohol or drugs
Similar to the second and third types. Due to a change in consciousness, they do not control themselves and are not responsible for their actions.
If you still understand that help will not be superfluous, you can approach the intended victim and ask one of the following questions:
- You hurry? I can help you?
- It seems to me, or is it the taxi that you ordered that came to you?
- It seems to me that we know each other, maybe we’ll go away for 5 minutes?
Also, in order not to get lost in such a situation, it is worth going on the platform , which was designed by L’Oréal Paris. It will take no more than 15 minutes and will provide the necessary knowledge in order to properly help a person who has found himself in a situation of sexual harassment.
About expert
Maria Arefieva – family psychologist, sexologist. Her .