Flexibility of thinking: how to put thoughts on a twine

I have been pole dancing for four years now. Every time I learn something new about my body and its capabilities. But more – about the possibilities of thinking. I understand that the phrase “the body can achieve what the brain believes in” is true. Although this does not happen immediately, but at a pace that sets the body. You can force events as much as you like, but the exercise will turn out when the body is ready for this.

Once in training, a conversation turned on how differently our body behaves. There are days when the muscles seem to be stronger, the body is more flexible and you perform the elements relatively easily. There are days when your hands are sweaty, you slide on a pole and it is impossible to do a single element. Sometimes the body is so weak that the muscles are like jellyfish, and the feeling that the hands do not hold at all. What does it depend on? I would like it to be like riding a bicycle: once you have learned, everything is yours! Unfortunately, this is not so.

The performance of certain exercises depends on a variety of factors:

• from the weather from the time of day;
• from the general physical condition – for example, from the level of fatigue;
• from the hormonal cycle;
• from an emotional state.

Most likely, this is not a complete list. Whether we like it or not, the body dictates its own rules. We either listen to it or we don’t. Once I came to training completely exhausted. She pulled herself literally “by the scruff of the neck.” It was difficult, barely doing the exercises.

“Well, why can’t I succeed?” I asked myself with resentment. “Because I’ve been doing it for so long.

I was ready to burst into tears from resentment at my body.

“Because you were tired and you should have stayed at home,” an inner voice answered, or maybe it was the body itself.

Our body is always talking to us. We just got used to “living in the head.” In the meantime, we “live in the head” and listen only to our thoughts, we “do not hear” the body and its real needs. They can be in rest, relaxation, slowing down, in nourishing the body, in simple pleasures that we may lack in the crazy rhythm of life.

Already on the way to training, I felt overwhelmed, but the thought appeared: “You can’t skip a workout. You had a plan, you need to follow it!” And suddenly I had a clear association with the topic of nutrition and eating behavior. After all, in the struggle “how much, when and what to eat” we are trying to bring the body under a single formula and a clear plan, completely ignoring the true needs of the body:

• scheduled meals;
• proteins, fats, carbohydrates and calorie counting;
• no sweet, no tasty, only healthy.

And we expect the body to follow our instructions – after all, this is our body, we do what we want.

Recently, a client came up with a problem: “I don’t understand what is happening to me. Sometimes I take boxes of food with me to work, I eat according to a clearly established plan, I am pleased with myself. And sometimes it’s just some kind of “roller coaster” when I frantically try to slow down, but nothing works out for me. The car makes a “dead loop”, and I come to my senses after I ate something that is not clear, and it’s hard to say how much. What does it depend on? It annoys me that I can’t control it. My body doesn’t listen to me.”

Our brain is constantly looking for some clear formula, algorithm. For example, action A leads to action B. To bet on the automaton, and go. Like other habits that you don’t need to think about: got up, washed, brushed your teeth, dressed, ate, left the house. There are a lot of things to do, because you need to somehow automate, otherwise you won’t be able to do everything.

With food, we want the same. I realized that I needed to eat, made a clear menu, put it on the machine – healthy, tasty, weight is reduced and everyone is happy! And it doesn’t work. And we get angry with ourselves: “Why can’t I stick to the diet? Why can’t I follow the rules? I’m so successful, disciplined, I can do so many things, why can’t I cope with my own body?

We can’t because, unlike auto habits, our food preferences and needs, just like in training, depend on many factors. And these factors are constantly changing. And this is one of the main reasons why diets don’t work. We cannot always eat in the same pattern.

The compiled diet, no matter how wonderful it may be, is bursting at the seams: on critical days, when you want sweet, chocolate, fatty; in the cold, when you want warm and carbohydrate; in summer, in the heat, when you dream of refreshing and cold; when you are sad/offended/lonely and want something comforting; when you are really hungry, and the salad written in the diet “does not excite the imagination and stomach” in any way.

The desire to bring your diet to a clear formula is understandable and natural – it simplifies life so much, but, unfortunately, is unrealistic. Just as unrealistic is the expectation that our body will constantly perform all the exercises at 100%.

What will help us to eat according to our needs and achieve our goals?

1. Flexibility of thinking. It is important to understand that there is no perfect diet that will always work. There are no perfect foods that you always want to eat. There is no formula by which we will eat all our lives. Our desires and preferences in food depend on many factors. They must be taken into account. And accept your “mistakes” as something completely normal, as part of life.

That’s flexibility: don’t push ahead against your body. The same can be said about almost all areas in which we want to excel. It can be training, or it can be any set goal: normalize weight, sit on the splits, finish the project. These can be very useful goals, with good intentions, but more often than not, our body will have the last word, and if it is against, nothing will come of it.

Often we set a goal for ourselves, but break down, because we did not coordinate with our body, did not take into account its needs and limitations. The body can indeed achieve what the brain believes, the question is whether we have the patience to wait for the result and whether we have enough flexibility to change direction if necessary. By listening to our body and exercising the flexibility of our thinking, we will quickly come to optimal results for ourselves.

2. Observations and experience. If you make a table, write down all the factors and your eating behavior in it, there is a chance to find an approximate, but still a diagram. It won’t be accurate, but it may give a clearer understanding of the situation and take away the inner critic. After several weeks of observation and recording, my client noticed that nutritional rollercoasters happen on certain days.

She found that it is most difficult to manage yourself on “critical days” and on days of excessive fatigue. This enabled her to plan her days more consciously and regulate her eating behavior more effectively. For example, she began to take more complex carbohydrates (whole grain bread) and vegetables with her to work. This gave her a feeling of satiety and satisfaction. She stopped being afraid of bread, as she noticed that when she eats bread, there are much fewer “attacks of sweets”.

I made the same table with training. I recorded the days of training, the amount of sleep, the hormonal cycle and nutrition. It turned out that the strength in the muscles and the quality of exercise is most affected by sleep.

Lack of sleep instantly turns me into a “jellyfish”. I want to ride the waves without the slightest expenditure of energy. I was well aware of the effect of sleep on our physical condition, but I did not expect to see such a clear connection. A more complete sleep at 7-7,5 hours literally worked wonders. But after five hours of sleep, it is more effective to sleep than to squeeze perfect pirouettes out of yourself on the pylon.

3. Acceptance of one’s own imperfection. Many of us want to be perfect. Super moms, super successful at work, and, of course, attractive women who always do everything. But this is impossible. When we understand that we are not omnipotent, that we cannot control everything, it becomes easier for us to accept our weaknesses.

We can control our actions. But in this we are more likely to succeed by 80%, and not by the desired 100%. Our diet will not be perfect, but it can be quite useful. We can train not four times a week, but only two, and that will also be good enough. The desire for ideality most often does not motivate, but demobilizes us.

Accepting your imperfection can be a real mental liberation. I can plan my diet. I can plan my workouts. But if for some reason I deviate from the plan, this does not mean that nothing is working out and that I have not achieved anything. This does not mean that everything will have to start over, or that “I will never lose weight” or “I will not see twine as my ears.”

It just means that it will take a little longer than I planned. I thought that after four years on the pole, I would be able to do much more by this point. I really wanted this. But it is impossible to force the natural pace of the body. It is only possible to create optimal conditions for obtaining the result.

It’s good if you want to change your eating behavior and start taking steps in this direction, but you don’t need to demand that you perfectly follow all the prescriptions. We can make our thinking more flexible and accept that not everything is up to us. The flexibility of thinking will help to change the internal monologue.

Instead of: “Something is wrong with me, I am weak-willed and cannot resist temptations …” a completely different angle will line up: “I don’t always succeed, but more often than before. I am gradually taking steps towards a healthier and more fulfilling life.” With a softer and more accepting inner monologue, it is easier to live, continue the planned changes and conquer the desired heights.