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Even the most affectionate words lose their value over time. How do you convey your love to your children? How do you let them know that their thoughts and experiences are no less important to you than their deeds and actions? Warm hugs and time spent one-on-one, heart-to-heart conversations and sincere attention to the tastes and interests of the child … Psychotherapist Chamin Ejan shares ways to express love to children.
I have two children, and I often worry about whether I do enough for them. I have to run a business, make time for friends and family, pay bills, take care of myself and my children. Sometimes it seems that it is impossible to be on time on all fronts, and one or more areas of life will inevitably sag.
I love my children more than anything in the world, but despite this, they definitely lack my attention. As a parent, you have probably experienced similar feelings of guilt.
We try our best to give children the best and raise them to be good people. We put them to bed, cook dinners, do laundry, take them to school, to sections and back, help with homework — and so on and so forth. We hope that children understand that we do all this because we love them. But most likely they take it for granted.
And yes — we know how important it is to tell children about your love, but most likely they have already heard it thousands of times, and these most important words have begun to lose their value. It’s good that there are other ways to show the child how much we love him.
1. Listen to them
Listen for real, don’t pretend. Nodding and responding inappropriately while doing other things at the same time is not enough. Put down your smartphone, turn off the TV, step away from the computer. Let go of all distractions and focus on the present moment.
Children, like adults, have a lot of thoughts during the day, but the child is not always able to get your attention and make you concentrate on what he is saying. Make it a habit to listen to what the children are trying to tell you throughout the day. You’ll see, it won’t go unnoticed.
2. Ask for their opinion
Do not forget to ask the children what they think about this or that. Giving them a chance to voice their opinion will emphasize their value and you will learn more about their ideas, assumptions, and beliefs. This will be the basis for deeper contact.
3. Hug them
Hugs help relieve stress, improve mood, build trust and a sense of security. By hugging children, you help them grow in self-confidence. This is a true manifestation of love — and the best gift for you and the child.
4. Cook their favorite meals
Food is another way to communicate love to a child. Memorize which dishes children especially like, and pamper them more often, arranging real culinary holidays.
5. Spend time together
You can play board games, dance, cook or go for a walk — it doesn’t really matter what you do. «Date with a child» will let him know that you have set aside this time especially for him.
Saying «I love you» is important, but it’s even more important to prove it with actions. Show your children that you love them. This will make your relationship even warmer and stronger.