If anxiety becomes a backdrop to our lives, then it becomes difficult for us to make choices and perform the simplest tasks. How is this experience born and why is it beneficial for us, even though we are not aware of it? And what will help us feel better here and now? We deal with the psychotherapist Maria Myaus.
Sometimes internal anxiety becomes a constant emotional background of our life and begins to interfere with us greatly. If we suffer from this condition, then any event that attracts our attention is another cause for concern. So, when we hear the doorbell, we think that someone has come to us with bad intentions. And a long-awaited vacation trip inspires us only with fear, because the long road is so unpredictable … In this case, you should go to a psychologist or psychotherapist: you may have encountered a generalized anxiety disorder.
“Every person has anxiety, but it becomes a disorder only when it interferes with life,” explains psychologist Marina Myaus. “At the same time, this state can be beneficial for us, although we do not realize it.”
What gives us this state and why sometimes we do not want to give it up, although we do not understand this?
- Lack of disappointment. The symbolic “inoculation” of anxiety seems to provide security: when we are prepared for trouble in advance and expect it, it is difficult to take us by surprise and seriously upset us.
- Illusion of control. It seems to us that anxiety makes us vigilant and thus prevents trouble. In fact, everything is not so. Our emotional strength is depleted, and we are much less able to cope with the tasks that life throws up.
Our psyche clings to illusory benefits, but anxiety comes at a cost.
- Violation of concentration. Constant worry prevents us from focusing. Due to absent-mindedness, we lose sight of a lot, and it is much more difficult for us to realize our ideas and dreams.
- Deterioration in health and mood. Headaches, tremors of the arms or legs, sweating often become our body’s responses to internal tension and a bleak emotional state. All external impulses, even if positively colored – pleasant news and events, people’s compliments – turn out to be frightening for the psyche and are instantly devalued by it.
If anxiety is seriously affecting your life, you should seek diagnosis and help from a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. What else can you do to combat anxious thoughts?
How to deal with anxiety
Pay attention to physical activity
“First of all, it is important to recognize that you have an anxiety disorder. And, given this, to build your day and your life, – says Marina Myaus. – Often physical inertia is a factor that increases anxiety. Anxiety is “accelerated” due to the fact that the body responds to its first signals with immobility, while it is activity that could eliminate or soften them.
If you have the opportunity to walk, use it. Active aerobic exercise is best planned for the first half of the day: in the evening they threaten to overexcite and increase anxiety. But relaxation exercises and yoga can be practiced at any time.
Assess your surroundings
Our loved ones can provoke us, cause negative thoughts, confirm our erroneous and at the same time disturbing beliefs. Moreover, anxiety is often inherited, and we react to stimuli in the same way as our parents did.
“Why do you need a new job? There will be only difficulties, constant hassle” – such warnings are similar to good intentions, which, as the well-known saying goes, lead to hell. They do not allow us to look at the world with fresh eyes and see the diversity of possibilities.
Try to surround yourself with those who support your desire to take the next step. And it does not remind once again of the possible risks.
Talk to the Inner Child
Try to teach your body to respond to an alarm in a new way. At the moment when panic seizes you, imagine a disturbing, insecure part of yourself in the form of a frightened child nearby. And talk to him like an adult.
Pay attention to what might spark his curiosity and interest. If you go to the airport and are nervous about the road, remind him of the panoramic cafe where you will watch the planes and drink coffee with your favorite dessert. A lot of joyful things await you ahead: sunny weather, walks in new places, delicious food.
Such an agreement with the Inner Child and focusing on the positive aspects will gradually calm you down and allow you to treat what is happening as an exciting adventure.
think about it tomorrow
The heroine of “Gone with the Wind” Scarlett O’Hara delights us with the ability to take a punch, no matter what happens. She was always helped by a technique that is appreciated by modern psychologists – “think about it tomorrow.”
Its meaning is to “agree” with your psyche and postpone the excitement for another time. And here and now allow yourself to relax. This is how we learn to live in the present.
“Anxiety disorder grows through the past and the future, so it is important to shift the focus to the here and now,” says Marina Myaus. – As soon as you feel the first bouts of anxiety, tell yourself “stop” and switch to your own feelings: “What do I see nearby now? What’s outside the window? How do I breathe?
We can go to the area of the body that reacts the most to anxiety and try to… exacerbate the symptoms. If this is a tremor of the hands, shake them harder. If dizziness – we begin to spin. This artificial crisis helps to believe that nothing terrible will happen in the end.” This method seems paradoxical, but it works great.
Speak out to loved ones
Sometimes it seems to us that by hushing up the problem, we can forget about it forever.
“It is important to express everything that worries you,” the expert believes. – If you are not ready to turn to professional help, arrange with a loved one so that in difficult moments he simply listens to you, without interrupting or trying to calm you down.
Active listening is the most important healing technique. Often everything that we say to another person suddenly loses its former strength and significance for us. In addition, we rethink the information and learn to look at the situation more voluminously, noticing the positive aspects.