Conflict people are always negative. They invariably blame others for their problems, including you, but never themselves. How to recognize such a person in order to avoid communication with him?
Is there anything in common between people in conflict? Psychotherapist Bill Eddy is sure that such people:
- always know who is to blame;
- do not allow compromises: all or nothing;
- do not know how to manage emotions;
- show signs of a personality disorder.
They are difficult to communicate with, but they are predictable. Here are five of the most common types of such people.
1. Antisocial type. Many of them are sociopaths and psychopaths. They are aggressive and not burdened with moral issues. Antisocial individuals are charming and devious, and can be very violent if they don’t get what they want. Antisocials blame others for their problems and frustrations. They are prone to scams, are often involved in criminal schemes and are ready to betray anyone.
They punish those they think are guilty and expect them to make amends. They harm people without any remorse.
Attention: the asocial type does not include people who simply do not want to see anyone for several days.
2. Narcissistic type. Everyone has acquaintances who are not interested in anyone but themselves. But conflict narcissists focus on those they think are at fault. They constantly humiliate these people and often do it in public to prove their superiority. They don’t know what empathy is.
At work, narcissists humiliate subordinates and curry favor with superiors. They use their position (bullying and harassment are their favorite methods) to demonstrate power and superiority.
3. Border type. Representatives of this type are absorbed in personal relationships. As soon as they suspect any of their close circle (children, parents, partners or colleagues) of insufficient loyalty, they become dangerous. They can harm both physically and emotionally, legally, financially and reputationally. Their mood changes with lightning speed: friendliness itself in the blink of an eye turns into an angry monster, and vice versa. The driving force behind these changes is the fear of abandonment.
It is these people who most often use domestic violence, abandon children and make false accusations.
4. Paranoid type. Such people suspect everyone in a row, believe that everyone has conspired and interfere with their career growth, friendships and family relationships, and generally wish them harm. They can hatch a plan of revenge for years, and then punish the “guilty one”.
Conflict paranoids feel they are being treated unfairly at work. Most lawsuits against colleagues are the work of representatives of this type.
5. Theatrical type. Such individuals tend to attribute exaggerated and unnatural reactions to those who are seen as guilty. So they try to hurt the accused more painfully and manipulate them. Theater people tend to be the center of attention and attack those who are not too interested in them. They involve those around them in squabbles and intrigues and constantly complain, blame and humiliate their victims in front of others.
Conflict personalities of all types do not shine with intelligence: their level of intelligence is average and below average. There are such people in different cities and countries, among representatives of any profession, among the rich and the poor (but there are more of them among the poor). You cannot change them, it is better to avoid them.