First months of school, how do you know if everything is going well?

Back to school: give him time to adapt

It is normal for the first few weeks for the child to show unusual signs that express his difficulty of adaptation, his stress in the face of novelty… ” The entry into the small section of kindergarten and that of the first grade are two stages that require a great deal of adaptation time. Up to several months! said Elodie Langman, school teacher. I always explain to parents that until december, their child needs to adapt. Even if there are signs that he is not comfortable, or that he is a little lost in learning, the first few months are not very revealing. “ But if this continues or grows beyond Christmas, of course we are worried! And rest assured. Normally, if the teacher detects something in the behavior or the learning, he tells the parents as early as October.

How to avoid crying at school?

It is very common in small section. Nathalie de Boisgrollier reassures us: “If he cries on arrival, that’s not necessarily a sign that things are wrong. He expresses the fact that it is difficult for him to separate from you. “ On the other hand, it remains a information sign if after three weeks he is still clinging to you and screaming. And “We must be careful that our adult fears and anxieties do not weigh down our children’s backpacks! Indeed, they make schooling more difficult ”, she explains. So we give him a big hug, we say “have fun, goodbye!” “. Joyfully, to let him know that there is nothing wrong with us.

The “little” ailments to watch out for

Depending on the character of the child, the forms of manifestation of “Back to school syndrome” vary. They all express stress, a greater or lesser difficulty in overcoming novelty and life at school. The canteen, in particular, is often a source of anxiety for the youngest. Nightmares, withdrawal into oneself, stomach ache, headaches in the morning, these are the symptoms that come back most often. Or, he was clean until now and all of a sudden he is wetting the bed. Without a medical reason (or the arrival of a little sister), it is a stress reaction to go to school! Also he may be more restless, upset than usual. Explanation from Nathalie de Boisgrollier: “The toddler was attentive, he held himself well, and restrained, to listen to the instructions all day. He needs to release tension. Give it time to let off steam. “ Hence the importance of take her to the square or to go back home by foot after school ! It helps relieve stress.

Support your emotions

All it took was a stern look from the teacher or the refusal of a friend to play with him at recess that day, not to be in the same class as his friend last year, and here are some “Little details” that annoy him. For real. However, we shouldn’t imagine that it is horrible at school or very difficult for him. You must accompany your child to welcome your emotions. Children in kindergarten and at the start of primary school do not necessarily have the vocabulary or awareness of what is going on in them, explains Nathalie de Boisgrollier. “He has emotions of anger, tristesse, fear, which he will express through behaviors of somatisation or inappropriate for you, such as aggression for example. “ It’s up to us to help her express herself as well as possible, by verbalizing her feelings: “Were you afraid (of the teacher, of a child who jostled you…)? Avoid telling him “but no, it’s nothing”, which denies the emotion and risks making it last. On the contrary, reassure him by active listening : “Yes you are sad, yes your a little severe mistress scares you, it happens. Talk about your own school experience. And if he doesn’t say anything, if he’s inhibited, maybe he can express himself through drawing.

Trying to find out what he did at school

We can’t help it! In the evening, barely past the door of the house, we rush towards our new schoolboy, and in a joyful tone, we say the famous “So what did you do today, my chick?” »… Silence. We ask the question again, a tad more intrusive … Without even stopping to play, he gives us a “well, nothing” as obvious! We calm down: it’s frustrating, but not worrying! “If it is important to ask your child lots of questions to show him that we are interested in his day, it is normal that he does not answer, because it is complicated for him, analyse Elodie Langman. It’s a long day. It’s full of emotions, positive or not, observations, learning, and life all the time, for him and around him. Even the talkative children or who speak easily enough tell little about the content of the learning. “ Nathalie de Boisgrollier adds: “At 3 years old as at 7, it’s difficult because he does not master the vocabulary, or he wants to move on, or he needs to let off steam …”. So, let it blow ! Often it is the next day, at breakfast, that a detail will come back to him. And start by telling your own story! Ask specific questions, it will be able to click! “Who did you play with?” “,” What is the title of your poetry? »… And for the little ones, ask him to sing the rhyme he is learning. Better yet: “Did you play ball or leapfrog?” “He will answer you every time” oh yes, I did dance! “.

Waiting doesn’t mean doing nothing

“If it does not go or you have doubts, it is necessary make an appointment very early, even from September, to explain to the teacher the peculiarities of your child, and that he knows that there are small signs of discomfort, advises Elodie Langman. That it is not serious and that there is a normal time of adaptation, and the fact of preventing the institute of the small problems is not contradictory! Indeed, when the master or mistress is aware that the child is anguish, or agitated, he will be careful. Even more so if your kid is sensitive and he is afraid of his teacher, it is important to meet him. “This helps to establish a climate of trust”, concludes the teacher!