If empathy and sensitivity makes you thin-skinned and at times you feel like an “emotional sponge” in dealing with others, pay attention to tips to help protect yourself from toxic people and negative influences.
The oppressive, tense atmosphere seems to draw vitality out of the body, and comfort and peace of mind can only be found where peace and love reign. Being among people, empaths read with every cell and seem to “pass through themselves” the general mood – this gives rise to anxiety and fatigue.
“Gift and Curse”
“I live with the feeling that I am special. Without words, I can catch sadness or a state of happiness in people I know, and even in strangers. I feel subtly, I cry over every sad film, and even with joy sometimes I also cry together … with the actors. But, to be honest, in my life such a fine spiritual organization really interferes with me. I would like to make it “thicker” so that it doesn’t storm from everything around … ”writes forty-year-old Larisa.
Many psychologists agree that we are talking about the innate properties of the psyche and nervous system. Childhood traumas and subsequent negative experiences can strengthen them. The good news is that the brain, like other parts of the body, can be “trained” to a certain extent. So, using certain techniques, we can learn to defend ourselves against the influence of someone else’s mood and emotions.
Defense techniques
1. The distance. We already know how to maintain social distance due to the coronavirus. Negative emotions, figuratively speaking, are also something like an infection. Therefore, it is better to keep a distance from their source. If you are offered a seat next to a toxic co-worker at a work meeting, and an obsessive gossip neighbor materializes in the supermarket queue next to you, make sure to change seats or move away.
2. Meditation. This does not necessarily mean sitting cross-legged with a benign smile on your face. Buddhist teachers have repeatedly stressed that you can meditate anywhere, anytime. Before a tense meeting, in transport or at the dinner table. To do this, you just need to shift your attention to your body.
If you eat and an annoying relative still “sat on your ears”, concentrate on the taste of the dishes, on every piece that gets into your mouth. The simplest and most convenient practice is concentration on the breath. You can begin to follow your inhalations and exhalations, saying to yourself: “inhale – exhale.”
You can also imagine that the negativity you have absorbed is a dark cloud, imagine it somewhere in the body. By releasing the air, you send it outward away from you.
3. Visualization. Another way is to literally imagine the guards that protect your borders. To do this, you can “prepare” an image in advance that is easy to recall from memory: armed soldiers, predatory animals, or goblins…
Or maybe it will be a strong wall of iron and concrete, which will turn your inner territory into a reliable bunker. A ball with transparent walls, through which nothing can hurt. Or even a protective field from Star Wars – anything, as long as the image is really associated for you with protection.
4. Mobilization. Working with boundaries and understanding the peculiarities of your psyche is always useful when it comes to protecting yourself from the negative impact of others. It is worth preparing yourself for possible unpleasant moments. Start noticing and perhaps writing down at first which situations are particularly difficult.
How easy is it to evade, directly or indirectly, if the neighbor’s questions violate your boundaries? If it is important not to get into a conflict with this person, you can prepare a joke in advance that will divert the conversation.
If your upbringing or character makes it difficult to say “no” or interrupt the endless chatter of a “stuffy” relative, you can practice in front of a mirror or consult a psychotherapist.
There are many people in the world, good and bad. The latter can manifest themselves as real “energy vampires”. But it happens that you still have to communicate with them. Therefore, it makes sense not only to apply protection methods, but also to take care of the restoration of resources.
Socializing with loving friends or family, or an evening in a quiet corner with dimmed lights and soothing music, a leisurely walk with the dog or a warm bath. It is important to find your own ways of emotional “rehabilitation”. Provide yourself with something that helps to relax the soul and restore strength.