When a romantically inclined young man sighs sadly, it is with these sighs that he convinces himself that ordinary everyday affairs are not his calling.
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Most often, people find their calling in what they have special abilities for, but it is not the abilities themselves that determine what the child will call his calling. The child, in order to experience joy or despondency, looks at what and how others are doing. If he sings well and sees that he is admired, he straightens his back. If someone sings better than him, he makes «longing» and drooping shoulders. Therefore, if a child has good abilities, if those around him are praised and his choice is supported, then most likely, doing this business, he will have a joyful face of a winner, this will soon be fixed, and as a result, he will like his profession. He will like his work, because he does it with a joyful face, with free breathing, in a positive format.
If a child sees that his parents do not support his hobby, for example, pop singing, and he is forced to engage in engineering and construction research under their pressure, then the child’s inner state is immediately felt, as he sits down at the table and looks hard at textbooks on strength of materials. The point is not that engineering is not close to him, the point is that he sat down at textbooks with wrong breathing, a face and drooping shoulders, he began to deal with sopromat with a negative format. And every subsequent day, he developed the habit of yearning for the word «sopromat» and «engineering activities.» The point here is not to put pressure on the child, but to allow him to do things that are dreary for him, or, more precisely, that he is used to doing in a habitually dreary way. This is just a habit, a habit of negativity, which the parents did not trace and allowed to anchor the sopromat as something negative.
If, however, the same parents who did not express delight at the child’s interest in the career of a pop singer and sent his feet to the Civil Engineering Institute, at the same time taught him to do any business in a positive mood, the results will be different. With a brisk gait, he went to get acquainted with the institute, with a living face (why with a living one? Because he was taught to do business that way) sat down at textbooks, treating engineering not as hard labor, but simply as a new business, and was soon able to boast: “ And now I know how the strength of this beam is calculated!” His studies receive positive parallel reinforcement, and in a year this young man will be convinced that he had this vocation since childhood: a civil engineer.
Most of the experiences about the search for a vocation are resolved at the level of conditioned reflexes by I.P. Pavlova, these are simply positive or negative habits that we develop in ourselves and in our children about certain activities.