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“Happiness depends much more on the inner mood of a person than on external circumstances,” says the Dalai Lama. Anxiety and fear are our frequent companions. In order to calm the mind and find balance, we should turn to the principles of Buddhist philosophy.
Constant competition with each other, the race for achievements and material wealth, eternal haste and lack of time – this is how our usual life looked until recently. Not everything in it was bad or “wrong”, but in a hurry we missed something, lost it or did not have time to notice.
The hustle and bustle has been replaced by anxiety and, for many, a forced stay at home in conditions of quarantine and self-isolation.
Many experts suggest using this time for the fact that we did not have time in the eternal race between work and home. Take advantage of the break to chat with loved ones and be alone with yourself. However, it is not easy for everyone to rebuild from the usual rhythm of life, lose background noise and meet their dark sides.
It seems that we are faced with the task of living this time with dignity and, perhaps, turning it into a period of internal growth. The centuries-old philosophy of Buddhism, whose practices are aimed precisely at finding peace within oneself and calming the anxious mind, will help us with this.
“The stronger our peace of mind and the calmer the mind, the greater the ability to be happy and enjoy life,” says the spiritual leader of the Buddhists, His Holiness the Dalai Lama XIV (book by the Dalai Lama and Dr. Howard Cutler “The Art of Being Happy”).
Psychologist Azadeh Aalai has collected five Buddhist truths from the Dalai Lama that will make self-isolation meaningful.
1. The main thing is kindness
The Dalai Lama says his religion is kindness. Plunging into the drama of our own lives, we are sometimes unable to feel the power of compassion – for others and for ourselves.
In the preface to the Dalai Lama’s book “The Open Heart. Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life Nicholas Vreeland writes that Buddhism defines compassion as the desire that all beings be freed from suffering.
Compassion gives rise to positive emotions, develops empathy. It gives an understanding that we live in an inextricable connection with other beings and with the whole wide world. When our kindness and decency are not directed towards others and we are guided only by selfish desires, this undermines the ability to be connected with others.
It’s not that hard to take a moment to ask a person how their day is going, make way for someone, smile, or offer to help. By doing these things, we start a “chain reaction” of kindness.
2. Find inner silence
Our life is usually filled with business and fuss, emotions and information. Digital technologies have become the basis and necessity of everyday life. Mobile phones ring and vibrate with messages, emails come in, frightening and provocative news headlines run through the feed, people argue about something on TV screens, images go from one to another.
All these technologies make life convenient and allow you to earn money. However, sometimes it’s worth putting everything aside for a while and just enjoying the silence. Focus on the moment and what we are doing, not grabbing every second for the gadget. Avoiding “digital chatter” can bring relief and peace by simply temporarily focusing on the present, says Dr. Aalai.
“We need a peaceful environment…I mean a distraction-free mental state, not just time spent alone in a quiet place,” writes the Dalai Lama. Of course, it is not always possible to achieve this. But we can turn off our phones and laptops at least once a day and immerse ourselves in the here and now.
3. Live in the present
“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. This is the present,” Dr. Aalai cites a student-sent note that now hangs in her office as a reminder of the importance of focusing on the present moment. She considers this advice fundamental.
Focusing on the here and now is a powerful and transformative way to live fully. The ability to focus on every breath, every bite of food we eat, helps us to truly feel our own life.
According to the Dalai Lama, the mind should not be turned back to the past and should not be influenced by hopes or fears about the future. Keeping our attention in the present, we get rid of worries about the future and from thinking about the past.
4. Everything is temporary
Another reason to focus on the present is to understand that the “here and now” is actually the only thing we have. Everything we experience passes, and sooner or later everything comes to an end. However, this should not be a cause for fear and anxiety. Understanding that everything is temporary allows you to enjoy the present and accept it, freeing yourself from the shackles of the past and illusions about the future.
“This too shall pass” – a well-known expression from a holy book of a completely different spiritual tradition only confirms the wisdom of this simple universal truth. For better or worse, our emotions and life circumstances are constantly changing.
5. Thinking about death shouldn’t hurt.
Somerset Maugham wrote: “Death is a very dull, dreary business, and I advise you to have nothing to do with it.” If only we had a choice.
Many spend their lives in fear, in denial, or in flight from death. But, of course, it is the inevitability, the great mystery of life, as many scientists and philosophers have written over the centuries.
Once in Washington, meeting with the audience on the lawn, the Dalai Lama said that this speech would be informal – as informal are the two most important moments in his life, birth and death. Thousands of people gathered around the green area met this statement with laughter.
But there is a deep truth hidden in the words of the Buddhist Master. In order to feel your presence in the present moment of life, it is important to remember your own mortality and recognize that all phenomena are transient.
What’s more, as we contemplate our inevitable demise, we can broaden our perspective and feel grateful for the time we have. Thinking about dying doesn’t have to be painful. For each of us, this is just a necessary reconciliation with reality, helping to recognize our biological nature.
As Tibetan wisdom says, death is not the end, but only the beginning of a new stage in consciousness. “Farewell and death are different descriptions of a new beginning and a new life. Everything you leave behind you will find again, in a different shape and form.”
“These are my hopes for myself and others: to practice compassion, to cultivate the wisdom that arises in the peace and quiet of the mind, to live in the present, to accept the temporality of everything in our life, and to contemplate death without fear,” sums up Azadeh Aalai.
Whether in difficult times or in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, these truths can serve as a support for people of all faiths. In essence, they remind us that, no matter the circumstances, we are able to be consciously present in our own lives, to be kind and not to lose our peace of mind.
About the author: Azade Aalai is a psychotherapist, teacher of psychology, and author of Aggression: The Psychological Causes of Aggressive Behavior.