Contents
“Finding love is a long-distance career”
Sexuality
María Pasión, an expert coach in couple relationships and dating, has written the manual ‘Flirting is easy if you know how’, where she explains the fundamental keys to establish a loving connection
There are many things that have been affected by the arrival of Covid-19, and finding a partner has been one of them. The dating world has changed, perhaps forever: many singles have been unable to date someone, dating apps have grown, and love has generally gone more online than ever.
Coping with ease in these new circumstances can be difficult. Therefore, Maria Passion, an expert coach in relationships and dating has written a manual for singles called ‘Flirting is easy if you know how’ (Alienta Editorial), where he explains the fundamental keys that we must take into account in order to establish a loving connection and know how to differentiate the different phases that are experienced according to age when trying to find love.
It is said that flirting is being lost because of Covid-19 and that in desperation to find someone to spend a little time with, we settle for anyone …
Yes, obviously. We have lost physical contact and this causes relationships to have a break, and when you have a break in the physical context, it is lived as something that is lost, and there is no doubt that we are beings of contact. Once this pothole is over, what we are recovering is the connection and we will have more physical and online contact.
Is flirting through social networks here to stay?
Social networks stay to flirt because we are more digital. It takes days to meet a person personally and online the possibilities are endless and the profiles are in your own hand because you can configure it with the filters you want, so the search can be as efficient as you want and discard us with whom We have nothing in common.
There is an outbreak of applications because the current moment is dictating it to us and we have to be brave to strengthen ties in this way, and those who are not digital are going to have to update a bit. Instead, those who prefer to flirt in person will use both ways. There is no doubt that there are more users in the apps to find love and this does not mean that you do not want to meet people personally, but that they provide us with time and space and take advantage of another way.
Flirting online is easier and everything is easier. You have everything in a ‘buffet’ and you choose what you like. In a town there are 100 people and many people believe that this is all the variety that there can be, but the ‘dating app’ makes you a screen of people who are not related.
Are you in favor of the use of social networks to flirt?
Yes, I am in favor of anything that is digital that does not hook and does not represent losing the rhythm of your life.
What would be the ideal way to flirt by chat?
It works the ‘slow dating’, a part of the method that I follow. If you take it early, you will do much better. I can tell you that a sexual contact is what you will find, but something greater takes more time. A chat can help you all this, but it is better to get to know it little by little.
For me it is essential to use humor, use emoticons but without going overboard, short phrases, content in which you can get to know the other person more. It is valuable that you send him news of what he likes and material to get to know you more, talk about common and general issues, not about yourself. I would not talk about parents or children on a first date. It can be mentioned but without going into it.
How have the different ways of flirting changed from years to now?
What has changed the most is access to people. Digital opens up a path that could not be used before and that people did not explore. Now we have fast relationships because the world goes fast and we understand relationships as something that moves and is liquid. Now with the networks tomorrow you talk with one, the next day with another, you can meet several at the same time … Before it was not so simple.
It is changing how we view commitment, and the future of relationships is the one that I see that needs a little more to take things easy because you may find yourself not knowing who you are with how fast everything is going.
In the book you define how is the way of flirting according to your age … how do those who are in their 20s flirt?
It is the decade of the invincibles and they have the energy to do many things at the same time. They are at the moment of doing everything and they have to choose whether this way brings them satisfaction or not because it will be seen that the handbrake must be used. The twenty-year-old has to choose between a couple or a flirt. Of course, it would be necessary to analyze what type of single the person in question is, because not everyone is the same.
And those of 30?
These have caught a little more maturity and have gained independence, but it is a decade in which the hormones of the 20s and the maturity of the 40s meet. It is also here where a strong transition crisis is experienced. Although it has been a decade with very positive things for all the capacities that we have, at the same time many mistakes are made.
Does things change a lot for those who have passed the barrier of 40?
Those of 40 are the most mature with respect to the other two. You have many ‘items’ of your life solved and you have a lot of practice in apps and you don’t make mistakes as much. Of course, if you are not clear about things you should already be realizing it. In this decade you usually have a stable job and at 40 you are no longer young, so you have to have a more conscious dating and be a better flirt for the ring.
As an expert coach in connecting two people, what advice would you give as an expert to all those singles in search of your love?
Finding love is a long-term career. It can take time and is based on the alignment of body, head and heart, and surely matches will come to you with homework like you. I believe that love unites to the extent of what you are willing to give and receive. You can find a lot of physique, a lot of mind or a lot of heart, but you have to balance all that depending on what you give the most importance. If you are clear about the decalogue of love, you will have fewer failures. If you want a person with children, you are not going to look for someone without children, so you do a lot more screening.
Expert in relationships and dating. Graduated in Journalism from the University of Navarra, she has collaborated for years with various media.
Currently, she works as an exclusive ‘dating coach’ for Meetic Spain. Since 2015, she offers private online consultations to singles who are looking for a partner and to couples who want to reconnect. In addition, he also conducts lectures and gives motivational talks.