If living in constant anxiety is uncomfortable, then … you can try to live differently. Psychologist Lyudmila Trubitsyna talks about how to learn to control your anxiety in everyday life.
Interview
Lyudmila Trubitsyna is a medical psychologist who worked in Chechnya as part of the humanitarian organizations Compassion (Russia) and Doctors of the World (France). Author of the book “The Process of Trauma” (Sense, CheRo, 2005).
Psychologies: Is there anything positive about our anxiety?
Ludmila Trubitsyna: This natural emotional state is familiar to all of us. It allows us to anticipate danger and begin to act in accordance with the situation, awakens curiosity and intuition, develops our ability to
Can a person do it on their own?
L.T.: It is possible to learn to control excessive anxiety. And you need to start by trying to change the usual strategy of behavior. Let’s suppose that on Saturday guests should come to you, but you already buy food on Monday, on Tuesday, worrying that you won’t have time for everything, cook some of the dishes, and on Thursday you find that some of them have gone bad … and worry even more. Try to do everything on Saturday morning. Ask yourself: what is the worst thing that could happen? Perhaps I will cook one dish less or I will have to replace it with another, but is it really so important for the atmosphere of the meeting? Another technique: try to determine rationally at what point you can and should start to worry. Let’s say you are constantly worried about your child: he is late from school, does not answer your calls. Ask yourself: when to start worrying today? While he is still at school, or 15 minutes after school ends? Or maybe it’s worth waiting: he played too much, didn’t have time to get home, or doesn’t hear your call. This is one of the advantages of anxiety: when we understand that it is time to worry, then at the same time we begin to take some practical steps.
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How to divert your attention from restless thoughts?
L.T.: One of the easiest ways is to delve into the book. But reading should be easy: it will be more difficult to switch completely if the book requires thoughtfulness and attention. In general, it’s better to switch to what fascinates: draw, sculpt, play a musical instrument, if you love and know how to do it. You can go outside and take pictures – this process does not require professional skills, but can be very exciting. Physical activity helps someone – playing sports or even just cleaning the apartment.
Is it worth watching TV?
L.T.: If you like action or sci-fi, watching it with success might turn you off. Favorite films, like good, calm music, allow you to switch, focus your attention on something else.
To be distracted, to have fun – isn’t this how we escape from reality?
L.T.: By trying to find a state in which we can feel more comfortable, we thereby learn to accept ourselves as we are, and look for techniques that will help us live better and easier in real life. A simple example: many athletes carry talismans with them, perform certain rituals – this helps them tune in, come into a “good condition”. So we, remembering our “good state”, learn to reproduce it even in the most disturbing moments.
What experiences are the hardest to deal with?
L.T.: Anxious nature is looking for an object
Anxiety or anxiety?
In ordinary speech, we rarely distinguish between these concepts, although at the psychological level they denote different phenomena. Anxiety is a one-time strong and unpleasant experience that can occur for no apparent reason. (As opposed to fear – an emotion caused by a specific danger.) We feel insecure, stiff, foresee something bad, our heart beats faster, we feel tightness in the chest, a lump in the throat, but after a while all this passes. Anxiety, on the other hand, is a rather permanent state; it is an individual tendency of a person to frequent and intense negative experiences of anxiety. The sensations that accompany anxiety are less acute, but no less unpleasant than at the moment of an anxiety attack: these are irritability, fatigue, sudden emotional outbursts, at the physical level – constant muscle tension … Although, of course, there is something in common between anxiety and anxiety: both phenomena talk about a person’s anxiety about the future and his sense of his own vulnerability.
Maria Shcheglova