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The words “anorexia” and “overeating” are familiar to everyone. But few people understand that both are severe mental disorders. It is customary to consider them “nonsense”, “whim”. We watched the film by Elena Pogrebizhskaya “Thin and Fat” and tell why “it’s not about food.” You can watch the movie at the end of the article.
There are a lot of people with eating disorders in Russia. Behind this long name lie simple things that everyone has encountered at least once in their life. We lose weight by following trendy diets, eating candy into trouble, and diligently avoiding GMOs. It seems so mundane that we don’t even notice this behavior or consider it normal. So we miss the moment when small oddities lead to big problems: anorexia, bulimia, or overeating.
We are used to thinking that it is somewhere out there, far away. Anywhere but in our lives. This will definitely never happen to us. But perhaps we simply do not know or do not want to know the real extent of the disaster?
“In our country, about 4% of women and 0,5% of men suffer from anorexia, and one in three is obese,” says Elena Pogrebizhskaya. Psychotherapist Svetlana Bronnikova, an expert on the film, supplements these figures with others that you don’t want to hear about at all: “60% of obese people have confirmed symptoms of clinical depression, 30% suffer from panic attacks, 10-15% were sexually abused in childhood.”
– You definitely have some close person who is obese: a relative, friend, neighbor, or a child’s teacher, or your chief accountant, – says Elena Pogrebizhskaya. – And it’s not just that it’s so massive. People have no idea why this is happening to them or their family members.
There are two heroines in the film: Zabava and Zhenya. Ordinary girls that we encounter every day on the street. But not everything is as usual as it seems: Zabava has anorexia, Zhenya has compulsive overeating.
History of Fun
“You won’t get up from the table until you eat all the soup, rubbish”
In high school, someone told Zabava that breasts grow from cabbage, and she began to eat only cabbage. At first, the girl did not feel the loss of strength from malnutrition. On the contrary, it was pleasant and easy.
“It all starts with a diet, with dietary restrictions that give incredible sensations that are not typical for us, a feeling of calm, stimulation, a surge of strength,” explains Svetlana Bronnikova. – People around praise: “Oh, cool fellow, strong-willed, lost weight!”.
Problems arose a little later, when Zabava almost completely stopped eating. It was dark in the eyes, the menstrual cycle was disturbed, there were hungry cramps in the esophagus, hair began to fall out. But Zabava did not give up and continued to torture herself.
Getting food and love in the early stages of the formation of the psyche are very closely related.
What could have happened? What can make a person behave like this?
The causes of anorexia are not fully understood. Most likely, several factors must coincide. Among them are genetic predisposition, psychological trauma. The family also plays an important role.
“From the point of view of biology, receiving food and love in the early stages of the formation of the psyche are very closely related,” says psychotherapist Maria Orlova. – Getting food, mother’s milk, is associated with a feeling of peace, bliss, satisfaction of needs.
Fun has a tough, controlling mother and an emotionally cold father. Parents have been divorced for a long time. Before entering the university, the girl lived with her mother. She worked a lot, she had no time for her daughter’s problems. When she noticed that something was wrong, she began to press, scold, forced to eat. But neither tantrums nor scandals brought results.
– From the outside it seems that it is very simple to cope with anorexia: “What are you not eating, let’s eat!” — Elena Pogrebizhskaya explains. – Only with human psychology it does not work. You can’t tell a big psychological problem to disappear.
“It is very difficult for the average person to understand an anorexic,” adds psychotherapist Svetlana Bronnikova. – These are completely different people, and they feel differently. Anorexics have violated the boundaries of the body: no matter how much they lose weight, they seem to be fat.
Any addictive behavior indicates a disease of the family system as a whole.
Zabava never managed to establish contact with her mother and receive support and love – exactly what is needed for recovery. She worries about this and wants other parents to hear her and help their children.
“Any addictive behavior speaks of a disease in the family system as a whole,” says Maria Orlova. – Such children grow up in families where there are no close emotional contacts between relatives, it is not allowed to have fun.
The girl is now in remission. She visits a psychotherapist and tries to “still eat something.” But until now, Zabava is not sure that she will ever be able to cope with her illness.
History of Women
“Eat less and move more, everything will be fine!”
Zhenya was never thin, but she gained a lot of weight after the birth of her child. The son was crying, screaming, demanding attention, but Zhenya did not understand why, what was wrong, what he lacked. She couldn’t bear to even think about it. To escape from maternal experiences, Zhenya ate.
“The state of a trance in which a person goes for a candy is such a pleasant oblivion when he tried one and woke up over a mountain of candy wrappers, this is an obligatory feature of compulsive overeating,” explains Elena Pogrebizhskaya.
“It’s not about the fact that I have a need to eat, it’s about the fact that I need to stop experiencing unbearable emotions: sadness, loneliness, disappointment, anger,” explains Svetlana Bronnikova.
I grew up with the feeling that no one would help me and it was useless to ask for it. No matter what happens in my life, I start to blame myself
The birth of a child awakened an emotional storm in Zhenya, which she could not cope with. But why? For an answer, we again go to the childhood of the heroine.
I had to survive in the 90s. Mother worked several jobs, stepfather drank. No one had the time or desire to take care of a child. Adults often swore, fought. Sometimes Zhenya also got it. The girl was left alone from 6 months. There were no friends at school either. Classmates mocked, ridiculed for altered clothes. There was no one to feel sorry for Zhenya. “I grew up with the feeling that no one would help me and it was useless to ask for it,” she says. “No matter what happens in my life, I start blaming myself.”
– A person who uncontrollably feels the need for food, in fact, feels an emotional need: for love, for approval, for confirmation of his value. Such a person is not sure that he is valuable and can be loved, – explains psychotherapist Maria Orlova.
When Zhenya recovered, relatives began to swear, ridicule her fullness, offer recipes for losing weight.
A person who has an uncontrollable need for food actually needs love.
– Eat less and move more, everything will be fine! In fact, this is absolutely not true. It doesn’t work, says psychotherapist Svetlana Bronnikova.
Constant diets and weight control gave temporary results. But as soon as Zhenya got into a difficult situation, she immediately began to eat. Now Zhenya understands that the lack of maternal attention and love affected her so much. Correcting this as an adult, even if you understand everything, is not easy.
Zhenya has a wonderful family: a loving husband and two children. But the pain of childhood trauma still persists. Zhenya has been visiting a psychotherapist for several years. She has not yet managed to completely cope with the disorder: in a state of stress, she again leans on food.
“It’s Not About the Food”
Most people are still convinced that in order to lose weight, it is enough to stop eating, and in order to get better, throw all the “nonsense” out of your head and eat a bowl of borscht.
But eating disorders are among the most severe. They are difficult to treat: short remissions end with relapses. The disease comes with renewed vigor, it is difficult to break out of the vicious circle. The earlier therapy begins, the greater the chance of success.
In our society, it is not customary to discuss this problem. A visit to a psychologist or psychotherapist is considered a manifestation of weakness, a shameful fact in the biography, and a sick person in the family is a shame for relatives.
Maybe it’s time to talk openly about your eating disorder. Then many will finally understand that “it’s not about food.”
Film Thick and Thin
The film “Thick and Thin” is the third part of a large documentary cycle by Elena Pogrebizhskaya. The main task of the project is to tell people about the problems that can and should be addressed to a psychotherapist. The first two parts are also available for viewing at the links: и .