Feminism: real support for women or a hidden game in favor of men?

It seems that the term «feminism» no longer contains riddles. However, each of us, hearing this word, imagines something of our own. Some people think that feminists should definitely refuse to shave their legs (and insist that everyone around should do the same). Someone is sure that representatives of this movement hate men. Someone reminds that without them, all women, without exception, would have much less rights and opportunities …

Two of our readers talked about what they understand by feminism, how they relate to its goals, and the expert commented on their ideas and concerns.

“Feminism is just a new way of exploiting women”

Alena, English teacher, 35 years old

At the end of the XNUMXth century, women seemed to have achieved a lot. However, it turned out that, in addition to the birth of children and the improvement of life, they were also forced to go to low-paid work. The women were deceived by the promise of independence. In fact, it seems to me that men simply relieved themselves of responsibility.

I want to say — feminists, wake up. By sending women to work, you play into the hands of men. They will never give up their positions. But they forced the woman to work not only in the house, but also in production.

Taking away their rights from men is unrealistic, and it is not necessary. Nature decreed that they were created to kill mammoths, which in today’s equivalent is making money. And they want to win a woman. With the so-called equality, everything is given to them easily and accessible. Why strive for something, become better, compete, if there is a simple way — to become a woman’s partner?

Feminism robs a woman of her capital — femininity. And it gives a man the opportunity to relax, lie down on the sofa and still receive care and attention.

Feminists say we need to fight for equal pay and career opportunities. But this is a myth that will never come true. In order to somehow break through in the field of a career, a woman must have reinforced concrete nerves and devote her life to work. Thus, feminism only corrupts men and oppresses women.

“Thanks to the determination of these women, we began to voice our problems”

Katya, journalist, 28 years old

I can openly call myself a feminist. Both I and my girlfriends were faced with the fact that a man and a woman are paid different salaries for the same job. I had a conversation with a colleague, an adequate person, as it seemed to me, to whom I confessed that I had been working for several years, but I had never received a salary increase. To which he replied without any irony: “Why? Find yourself a wealthy man and live. And our society stands firmly on such opinions.

I can not hear that women do not have the ability to this or that business! As an argument, they are asked to remember how many of them are among the Nobel laureates or great artists. Not much, but the answer is simple: we have a century-old history of completely ignoring women and a very short one of fighting for their rights.

There is a set of stereotypes about how a woman’s fate should develop. And it starts from childhood, when girls are given a set for the kitchen, and boys are given cars and tools. Feminists today are accused of radicalism. I partly agree with this, but this is an inevitable path that we must go through.

Thanks to the determination of these women, we have at least begun to voice our problems. And for us, the opponents are not radical feminists at all. Our opponents are people who are in favor of a patriarchal society built on the principle of male power and rightness. A society in which a woman is told: “Why invest in you and what kind of career do you need if you go on maternity leave and we don’t see you?”

“Patriarchy is not only a male desire to oppress, but also a female desire to obey”

Daria Petrovskaya, gestalt therapist

Masculine and feminine in the modern world is no longer as clearly separated as it used to be. Hence a lot of existential anxiety about what is right.

Alena’s position is understandable, but fear emanates from her — «they will take away what belongs by right — my femininity.» However, no one can take it away. And in general, what is femininity and what is masculinity?

We experience a gender crisis in the preschool years, when boys and girls first encounter differences between themselves. And the children’s approach: “I’m a girl, I have a doll and a skirt”, “I’m a boy, here are my soldiers”, for adults it becomes much more complicated.

Am I still a girl if I wear pants and make millions? And still a boy if I take maternity leave? What unites us as a couple if there is no longer a “correct” division of duties? Everyone has their own criteria, this is the freedom and complexity of our time.

Most disputes about feminism are provoked not by feminists themselves, but by their radical representatives, who are fighting for women’s rights as actively as possible. Their slogans are filled with emotional overtones, which causes resistance among many people who generally share feminist values.

At the same time, I notice that thanks to the feminitives, on the use of which the representatives of this movement insist, people see “their own”. That is, a psychologist who writes about herself as a “psychotherapist” will obviously be friendly to the ideas of feminists. And this, in particular, makes the client-therapeutic space safer for a person.

Katya believes that the radical views of feminists are justified, since it is necessary to undermine the system in order for it to start moving. And this also makes sense, especially in a society like the Russian one, which is built on “staples”.

At least the main ideas will be heard. Let a hundred people laugh, and one decides to radically change their lives, and this is already a lot.

As for the relationship between men and women, here radical feminism often turns from the struggle for freedom into the opposite form — persecution of men. And in the course are those techniques that are used for aggressive struggle, and not for dialogue. Healthy change takes time.

Feminism is the ability to enter into an open dialogue, to choose partners according to values ​​and interests, and not those «whom God sent.» Freely talk about your needs, and not wait and be offended when you don’t see what you want.