Michelle, good afternoon! I decided to respond to your comment on the article «Men don’t cry.» You write:
Today, the model is accepted that a person is initially a blank sheet of paper: what you write down, that person will be. So they write all the boys into boys, and all the girls into girls. But this is fundamentally wrong! You can not so rigidly divide people into men and women. Many women are strong: they serve in the army, go in for sports, may not have children — and this is their own choice. And many men who cannot be good warriors, will not be strong, but they love to cook, love children and want to educate them.
The existing normative model so far only recognizes a binary gender system: you are either a man or a woman. And what about the millions of people who do not agree with this rigid division? Once upon a time there were already attempts to treat them, intimidate them, re-educate them, using the most severe, and even cruel measures. This attempt yielded nothing but a huge number of maimed and destroyed people.
In the concept of «child» there should not be a division into girls and boys, any person has every right to develop comprehensively. The concept of “you are not a girl”, “you are not a boy” is fundamentally wrong, and no longer meets modern standards. After all, in addition to the biological sex, there is also a gender sex. You should not stigmatize everyone under two types of people: a woman and a man, creating a rigid model that a woman is a mother, a cook, weak, etc., and a man is strong, a protector, a warrior.
You can’t say: “Men don’t cry,” you can’t divide people by gender here. We should not encourage crying that is aimed at manipulating others, but there is crying as a natural human behavior, and eating should not be forbidden to anyone.
When raising children, one cannot use the expressions “you are not a boy”, “you are not a girl”, it is necessary to approach the issue in a gender-neutral way and give a person knowledge with which he can show his true essence. Open yourself. Get to know yourself. And choose one or the other. Or another.
Michel, you are right, we are born different. There are those who are born originally as boys, there are those who are born originally as girls, and there are those who can be both. And sometimes they choose to be both at the same time, and sometimes they choose to be either boys or girls.
And I respect every choice.
At the same time, in addition to sex and gender, there is culture. There is a male culture and there is a female culture. I, too, could choose how I would educate myself, and compared these two cultures. And the more I compared, the more I became convinced of the superiority of male culture. I am not saying that anyone should agree with me, but this is the result of my experience and my research. After all, you may prefer good wine, but I prefer good tea. I strongly prefer masculine culture — and I plan to promote the values of masculine culture.
I hope you will support me in my right to freedom of opinion?
Well, then everything is simple: I do not forcibly, within the framework of freedom of speech, promote the values of male culture. And to those who were born a boy and want to be a boy, I say: “In our male culture, this behavior is masculine, but this is not masculine. Be a man! And particularly in our male culture, boys don’t cry.»
Whoever is interested in this will grow up to be a man.
Such a man will respect women, love women and protect women.
And I am convinced that such a man will delight women.
At least we are proud of our family together with my wife. And our children.
Thanks again for the accuracy and balance of your wording.
Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.