Men who are looking to find a loved one, rather than a one-night stand, should pay attention to ten stop signs that tell women: «You should not answer him.»
Fill out a profile on a dating site page — it would seem, what could be easier? For a man who is looking for a one-night stand, this is not a problem. Especially if he does not hide his intentions. But those who hope to find something more serious often make ridiculous mistakes. And in the end, they cost them acquaintance with smart girls and beauties for the sake of which they came here. Why are they scaring us?
Nickname. Do not hide behind the names of the characters in movies or TV shows, it looks childish. Of course, your virtual alias should not read a veiled invitation to sex. A nickname that alarms or repels will discourage the desire to visit your page. Even if you wrote about yourself adequately, witty and we could be interesting to each other, the game is lost in the beginning.
Selfie in the bathroom. This is not the best place for the first visual acquaintance. If you decide to capture yourself in this part of the house, make sure that we do not observe the disorder.
Auto, dog and sunrises (sunsets) instead of photos. For some reason, many choose these avatars instead of their real portrait, but we don’t really like to represent you in the form of machines, animals and natural phenomena. We want to get an idea of your appearance. It will be better if you post a full-length photo and a portrait in which you are smiling.
Banal information. Let’s guess: work is important to you and you devote a lot of time to it. You love music and hate melodrama, you adore a dog. Familiar? And so it is for us, because we have already read it thousands of times. Try to show your imagination and tell something unusual that would make you stand out from the series of people who also work and also love pets. Ask a friend or child, if you have one, to describe you and share their observations. It might get our attention.
Empty profile. Together with the absence of a photo, this is a sign that you are not free and are afraid that someone you know will recognize you.
Copy messages. “Hi, how are you, beauty?”, “Chat?” You will most likely never get an answer to these questions. Because you sent these standard messages to everyone who is currently online. If you are interested in a woman, carefully read her profile and ask a question from which it would be clear that you are addressing her personally.
Spelling, emoticons and abbreviations. The Internet has developed its own language of communication, and yet your profile should not look like a teenager’s messenger, with barely understandable abbreviations and an abundance of slang. Emoticons are also not the best idea. We are no longer 15 years old and we do not think that «cool».
Information mismatch. If in one photo you turn out to be an athlete who lifts weights or runs a marathon, and in another you put a mug of beer on your stomach, we are at a loss: how do you look today? Should we expect you to have a beard, or to make friends with a razor again, as another photo demonstrates? We would like to rely on more reliable information.
Your profile is posted on all sites. If we are interested in you, we can find additional information through a search engine that shows your profile on all sites. Those where they meet for a serious relationship, and those where the participants are only interested in sex. Decide what interests you and post the questionnaire on the relevant resources.
The image of the eternal sufferer. Everyone has a lot of worries behind them. But if in your profile we read only about how you were betrayed and abandoned and how you still suffer from this, it is tiring. We do not want to turn into your virtual vest and another reason for suffering.
We believe in the intentions of most of you. It would be a shame to miss each other because of the barriers that you yourself put in the way of getting to know and recognizing each other.
About the author: Jennifer Zabo is a social psychologist and coach.