Psychologist Walter Mischel came up with such an experiment with four-year-old children. He brought the child into an empty room and sat him at the table, on which stood a saucer with marshmallows. “You can eat this marshmallow now or wait until I get back,” Michel said. “If you wait until I return, I will give you another marshmallow and you will eat two.”
To keep from eating marshmallows immediately, children had to invent various ways to redirect their attention. As it turned out after 30 years, those who did not eat marshmallows immediately achieved greater success in life (among the parameters were health, social status, financial well-being and a general sense of satisfaction from life). The ability to control one’s attention at age four has a more significant impact on a person’s well-being at age 35 than their IQ or the social standing of their parents. Neuroscientists tend to think that it is how we direct our attention from birth that shapes our reality. This means that the earlier we learn the art of conscious attention management, the easier it is for us in adulthood to be aware of emotions, our own and other people, and their influence on our decisions, set and achieve goals, choose a lively, meaningful and joyful life. And the practice of mindfulness is one of the tools for teaching children this art.
Pass the tests
- What is the source of your joy?
- What holiday are you dreaming about?
- New Year: Do you enjoy the holiday?
One of the exercises – “Breathing Friend” – you can try now. Invite the child to lie on the floor and put a toy stuffed with something dense on the lower abdomen if the child is small, or some object, such as a smooth stone, if we are talking about teenagers. Now invite the child to observe how the toy rises and falls in time with his breathing for 5-15 minutes (depending on age). Usually children notice that after doing the exercise they become calmer. Over time, they will be able to use this practice before exams or tests, as well as in any stressful situations. This exercise helps to calm down and trains the focus of attention, which is valuable in a world of constant external distractions.
The January holidays are a great time to try to pay more attention to the present. Turn off gadgets during family meals. Be more attentive to each other. To start with the whole family to take small pauses of mindfulness during the day: how do we feel right here and now? What are we thinking about? What do we feel? Is there joy in our lives right now? Just because we’re alive? And if not, what should we focus on to change that? And then, perhaps, our New Year will really become a new one …
W. Michel “Development of Willpower” (MYTH, 2015).