If to be free is to be yourself, to live in harmony with your deepest nature, then how to get rid of the restrictions that hinder us? Therapy is good, but not the only remedy. It takes effort to win your own inner freedom.
A person throughout his life feels the need to “be himself.” “From the “no” uttered by a small child, through teenage rebellions to the main life choices of an adult, all along the way we have the feeling that only we, ourselves, must answer our deepest desires and realize them. “This self-realization is not about external demands, but about internal needs,” explains psychoanalyst Alain Braconnier. – Freedom here meets the self-determination of the individual. Many have said to me at the end of the analysis, “I feel much more free.” It means giving yourself space and feeling like a whole person again, finding our human essence. This essence is opposed by our narcissistic side – certainly necessary (because it is thanks to it that we heal our old wounds), but often subjugating us.
The limitations with which we live constantly hinder the exercise of our inner freedom. “It may be the external framework that restrains us – upbringing, moral values, social pressure – but there may also be internal restrictions: clamps, fears…” emphasizes the psychoanalyst. If we suddenly no longer find a rapport with a partner and do not feel the pleasure of life, if the work ceases to correspond to our values, then perhaps we do not dare to hurt another, endanger ourselves, or go all the way in our choice.
The stakes are indeed very high: we are talking about our lives. “Of course, you can always agree to a compromise, stubbornly deny the obvious, drown out in yourself a deep need for freedom, which I would call conformity to oneself, but our feelings will inevitably rise to the surface sooner or later and break out,” says psychotherapist Thierry Jansen, author of Trial by Illness: How to Survive Breast Cancer (Astrelle, Corpus, 2009). Like everything we repress into the unconscious, the lack of inner freedom finds ways to assert itself. “Physically – in the form of psychosomatic disorders and accidents, mentally – through real suffering, up to depression,” explains Alain Braconnier.
Go to action
How to proceed? Remove restrictions or, conversely, accept them, but accept them consciously – that’s what we have to do. “As always, therapy is a good way to achieve the goal,” says Alain Braconnier, “because it helps not only to identify boundaries, but also to work with them.” It is the feeling of identity with oneself, agreement with oneself and one’s values that gives strength to act, and therefore, to open up and experience the highest joy. Philosopher and theologian Lytta Basset calls this reconciliation with oneself “the result of the invisible and difficult work of restoring one’s own integrity.”* An action that gives us joy and peace of mind will finally allow us to hear a small voice that alone knows what we really need. “Internal freedom is the first step towards any freedom,” concludes Alain Braconnier.
* Read Litta Bassett’s story “Acknowledging Your Pain to Soothe It” at psychologies.ru
Exercise Open the “gates to heaven”
First part: traditional qigong meditation to relieve stress, relax the body and soothe the heart. Take a few deep breaths and begin your meditation by inhaling gently through your nose and slowly counting to five. Exhale through your nose for a count of eight. Focus on the rhythm of your breath, allowing all other thoughts to flow freely. Continue for 10-20 minutes.
The second part: exercise for the lungs – parts of the body where emotions live. Do it when you feel overwhelmed.
Get into the basic qigong stance. Feet shoulder-width apart, feet parallel, knees slightly bent. Keep your back straight, slightly pull the sacrum forward, pick up the chin. Relax your shoulders, lower your arms freely down. Straighten your spine as if you were being pulled up by the top of your head. As you inhale, draw a circle with your hands. Raise them up until the palms are connected above the head. As you exhale, lower your hands in front of you, folding them in a “prayer position” near your heart. Inhaling, turn your palms outward and spread your arms to the sides, while pressing your elbows to your ribs. Exhaling, spread your arms to the sides, as if pushing off two side “walls”, and lower them down.
Exercise from Deborah Davis’s book Qigong for Women’s Health and Longevity (Sofia, 2012).