When we accept ourselves as we are, we benefit greatly. But this is not easy to do. The call to “be beautiful” often causes only annoyance and irritation. Here are four exercises to show the world your inner light.
Feeling beautiful is a special experience. But like other emotions, such as joy or sadness, elation or fear, it is highly variable: it appears one moment and may disappear the next. And we perceive our appearance always differently. It’s a feeling we can’t control.
If we have just left the hairdresser, waiting for the reaction of others, but no one pays attention to the new haircut, we may experience acute disappointment. Magazines and movies offer different images of beauty. But the general unspoken demand “be beautiful” remains unchanged, and it is difficult to shake off its influence.
Some strive to be like the generally recognized beauties and are disappointed, because the twins of Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson are not often found among us. Others try to ignore this call, but usually fail. This is what makes us unhappy. Wouldn’t it be better to choose a third path – to have your own experience of beauty? The one that suits us, not the one that is imposed on us.
Psychologists advise finding new reasons to take care of yourself. Going to the hairdresser is not to feel prettier, but for the pleasure of setting aside two hours of relaxation in your busy schedule. Going to the gym with a friend is not to lose weight, but just to have a good time. Then that valuable feeling appears – “I feel good”, which protects us from worries about physical shortcomings.
Sophrologist Michel Freud, an expert in the formation of harmonious consciousness, offers several exercises that will help you feel more kind to yourself. Becoming a “caring mother” for yourself, recognizing your best human qualities and focusing on them – all this will allow you to feel more confident and joyfully take on appearance.
1. Find face again
It is not wrinkles that upset us, but the discrepancy between the image that appears in the mirror and that others see, our internal image of ourselves. It seems to us that our face no longer reflects who we really are. Let’s try to get in touch with him again.
Serene smile. Sit comfortably in a chair and breathe calmly, concentrating on your face. Inhale through your nose, clench your jaws, exhale and open them. Then inhale through your mouth, uttering the sound “o” with your lips, exhale and relax your entire face.
Take a breath, making the sound “and” with one lips. Exhale. Your face relaxes even more. Gently move your lower jaw to the right and left. The lips open and close without resistance, the tongue falls freely into place, the lips are relaxed, and you smile slightly.
Inner Light. Now think about your face. Touch it with your hands, as if it were the most expensive item. Imagine that you are discovering it for yourself for the first time. Take the time to “hang out” with him. Imagine that you are carefully applying your favorite cream, with pleasure feeling how it penetrates into every wrinkle on your forehead, along the contour of the eyes, at the wings of the nose, around the mouth.
These movements bring comfort and peace. The skin becomes softer and smoother. Think of your face, smile at it. Pay attention to each part separately: forehead, eyes, lips, cheeks, wrinkles. Breathe in and out each time and send an inner, radiant smile into these areas. Then mentally surround your face with a halo of soft light. Keep this light in yourself and know that as soon as you look at yourself in the mirror, you will remember this pleasant moment.
2. Live in your body
The more we lose contact with our body, the more cruel and critical we look at it. We stop having any pleasant experiences, and as a result, we have a distorted idea of ourselves. The purpose of the next exercise, according to Michel Freud, is to change the “body that we have” to “the body that reflects our essence.”
Full awareness. “If you listen to the messages of your body and give it the necessary care, then your perception will change – and the body too,” says Michel Freud. To begin, feel the water in the shower flowing over your skin, caressing it and soothing it. Give yourself a massage with the cream, focusing on the areas you like the least! Pay attention to your gestures, sensations and emotions.
Rooting. “The hunched back, crossed arms and legs give the impression of withdrawing into oneself. There is a pose that helps you feel better in your body,” notes the sophrologist. Stand up, close your eyes, relax your face, loosen your shoulders, slightly bend your knees. Place your feet parallel, shoulder width apart. Let the chin, solar plexus and lower abdomen be on the same line.
With each inhalation and exhalation, be aware of your body that lives and breathes.
Feel the stability and comfort of this position. With each breath, imagine the beneficial energy rising through your body. With each exhalation, try to consolidate these pleasant sensations. Do the exercise regularly, which takes only five minutes, and feel new strength.
Dialogue with yourself. Lie down and relax. Ask the question: “How do I feel now?” With each inhalation and exhalation, be aware of your body that lives and breathes. Notice the pleasant state of peace and comfort that you experience.
3.Enhance radiance
“She entered the room, and everything around brightened”, “she seems to glow.” Some people give off a special radiance, which is noticeable in the face, felt in the gait. It attracts the eyes of others.
“To be able to present yourself in this way, start caring about your appearance and pay special attention to your posture,” explains Michel Freud. – Confident people hold their heads high, smile and look others in the eye. Why not adopt these habits? Think about the looks of those whose confidence you admire, and follow their example.
Creative visualization. Imagine yourself as the hero of a movie that someone looks at with admiration and compliments. Other people join him and also praise you from the bottom of their hearts. Watch this scene carefully. Review it regularly to keep your impressions.
Inner travel. Sit down and close your eyes. By taking a few deep breaths in and out of your belly, allow yourself to completely relax. Linger on the pleasant sensations that relaxation has caused. Imagine that you are traveling within yourself, towards a source of warmth and light. It can evoke different associations, but above all it gives you a deep sense of self-confidence. This is a kind of center of your inner radiance.
Feel the energy that emanates from you and illuminates your entire being. Take a deep breath and connect even deeper to the light source. Do this exercise from time to time when you need to rebuild your confidence.
4. Overcome complexes
Negative attitudes towards physical disability are often an echo of long-standing experiences associated with the fact that parents did not look at us with love often enough and did not instill faith in their own worth, Michel Freud explains.
Exercise will help you make peace with the “hateful” parts of yourself. If the degree of dissatisfaction with shortcomings is too high, consultation with a cognitive psychologist or a body-oriented psychotherapist will help to understand the causes of psychological discomfort and find ways to cope with it.
A benevolent look. Review your photos and select the ones you love. Then make two lists: “Things I like about myself” and “Things I don’t like.” Sit down, straighten your back and think of a flaw that is depressing, perhaps circles under the eyes. Then associate with it what you like, say, the eyes.
Think about their color, shape, touch them, remember the compliments that you were told about them, “hear” them. Hold these kind remarks in your mind, fix them in your memory with a gesture, for example, by connecting your thumb and forefinger. Do this exercise 4 times in a row. Think again about your shortcoming and, squeezing your thumb and forefinger, return to positive images.
Go from one to the other until you start to focus on the positive aspect of your appearance. Each time you think about your shortcoming again, it will be enough to squeeze your thumb and forefinger to return to a positive image of yourself.
About the Expert: Michel Freud is a sophrologist and author of Lose Weight and Make Peace with Yourself, 2012.