Contents
Hello! In order to pass for an interesting interlocutor in communication, it is important not only to have a lot of information, it is also necessary to speak competently, observing the so-called speech etiquette. Knowing its subtleties and basics, you will not find yourself in a difficult or awkward situation, and you will always know what to say. So, if you want to be successful, grow and develop both personally and professionally, I recommend that you familiarize yourself with the basic rules and formulas of polite communication.
functions
The formation of speech etiquette begins in early childhood, in principle, like everything else. Parents show by their example how to behave in society, what to say when you meet acquaintances or strangers, how to say goodbye to them, thank them, apologize, and so on. This skill is essential for everyone who is in society, and why, you will learn by familiarizing yourself with the functions of etiquette:
1. Helps you make contact
That is, to pay attention to yourself and arouse interest in getting to know each other, chatting. It doesn’t matter how versatile you are. If you don’t know how to make yourself noticed, others will not know how unique you are and what you are capable of. An opinion about another person is formed in the first seconds of acquaintance. It depends on this opinion whether they continue contact with you, or they ignore you, run away, and so on.
2. Maintain contact
If you managed to get attention, this does not mean that you can relax. Now you need to make sure that the communication does not end abruptly if there is no topic for conversation. It is important to talk about something that will not cause negative emotions and will not put you in an awkward position. Moreover, you need to say something that will not be boring, too difficult to understand or intimate.
Unfamiliar and distant people should not be asked about age, salary level, religious views, family problems, and the like. It is also ugly to talk only about yourself, your successes, achievements and talents, completely ignoring those around you. Gossip, humiliation and focusing on the shortcomings of others, including physical ones, causes a desire to stay away and not cross again.
To avoid these mistakes, I recommend paying attention to the rules and techniques for building a constructive dialogue:
- Notice which topic is interesting to the interlocutor, and which is not. Thus, it is necessary to support the topic in which there is more positive energy. It will be easier to do this if you read the article about non-verbal communication.
- Ask questions in such a way that you get a detailed answer. Also, so that pleasant feelings remain after them, and not anger or resentment, sadness.
- Active listening. If you show by your appearance that you are not interested, or you are not included in the conversation process, this will form a negative opinion about you. So be sure to learn to listen and hear. You must show that you are present at the moment. Make eye contact and nod occasionally, using facial expressions and gestures to show your emotions as feedback. Learn more about these techniques in this article.
3. Regulation of behavior in society
When we adhere to certain rules accepted in society, it is easy to determine which group we belong to and in which environment we are. Down to age and position. I will give examples of apologies to make it clearer:
- Please accept my apologies — it is typical for older people of aristocratic origin, or an intelligent profession.
- Sorry, sorry — the formulations of the modern personality.
- Guilty! — used by representatives of law enforcement agencies.
4. Formation of an environment conducive to conversation
This can be achieved by showing respect for another person and their upbringing. No wonder there was a saying that you should treat others the way you would like to be treated. If someone provokes a conflict and causes irritation with their words and behavior, you must admit that you don’t want to “open your soul” and share your experiences, difficulties and the like.
5. Reducing the risk of conflicts
When an individual observes the norms of behavior, this helps to establish contact, intimacy and not provoke aggression. Just remember, when someone stepped on your foot, but immediately asked for forgiveness and explained that they didn’t want to — did the level of anger decrease? Definitely yes, especially when compared with situations where, instead of apologizing, you were rude or ignored your misdeed.
Situations
The culture of speech etiquette includes such a thing as a situation. It is she who influences the nature and outcome of the conversation. The main characteristics of the circumstances of various situations:
- Personality. When talking, there is always an orientation towards the interlocutor, and it is important to take into account the nature of the relationship with him. That is, we turn to “You” to those higher in status, age and to strangers or unfamiliar people to show our respect and upbringing. Closer or those with whom we have agreed, we can freely say “you”.
- Place. At a meeting, it would hardly be appropriate to talk about your family problems, and in a public place where many strangers can hear you, too. At secular evenings, topics are relevant that are usually not covered at parties and discos.
- Subject. Each topic has its own speech features, that is, a set of socially acceptable phrases. For example, when they learn that someone has died, it is customary to empathize and express condolences, and also not to ask many questions, expecting an open conversation with the smallest details. But a joyful event is usually asked to describe in detail.
- Motive and purpose. Every conversation has its own motive. Let’s say, show your recognition, congratulate, thank, win over, ask for help and so on.
- Time. The time of day also has an impact on communication style. After all, in the morning it is more expedient to wish a pleasant day, and in the evening in the evening. Planning meetings are usually held at the beginning of the working day to discuss plans, problems and goals, but corporate parties in the evening.
formula
Formulas are those expressions that are used at various stages of a conversation (there are only three of them):
Home
Usually, when meeting, you need to say hello. Depending on the style of relationship and the situation, either a verbal greeting or a non-verbal greeting is chosen. Non-verbal — this is when without the use of words, only facial expressions and gestures, for example, a nod of the head or a handshake.
It is believed that the one who is younger, both in age and status, should be the first to take the initiative, as well as a man to a woman. Speech forms are chosen depending on the situation. For example, you can show emotions by saying that you are very glad and happy to meet, or use the time of day (good morning, evening, etc.).
Main part
The following forms of communication are used:
- Sorrowful — I offer you condolences, please accept my condolences, I am very sorry, I empathize with your loss …
- Congratulatory — I want to congratulate you, accept my congratulations, I want to join the general congratulations …
- Working or everyday — refusals or consents to some type of activity, recommendations, advice, wishes, requests, etc. are appropriate.
Completion
Its functions are to say goodbye, leaving a pleasant aftertaste, information for reflection, as well as a desire to meet again both to form intimacy and to implement work plans and cooperation.
When parting, they use formulas in the form of wishes — good luck to you, all the best, good night, and so on. In the form of an expression of hope for a second meeting — until Monday, we will call again, I look forward to seeing you again …
Conclusion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! You don’t have to learn all the phrases that are commonly used. The Russian language is quite rich and has a lot of various forms of respect, feelings, experiences and other things. It is important to be attentive, being in different social groups, then you can adapt and learn how to behave, and the right words will appear on their own, depending on the situation.
By the way, I recommend you read the article about 100 goals for your life. I think it will be very useful for you.
Good luck and accomplishments!