Fears and anxiety in human life

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Small children with a sense of fear are practically unknown. Babies have elementary reflexes (startle) to loud noises, a protest against pain, and a predisposition to fear reactions to some possibly dangerous things in life (heights, spiders). The main array of fears that we observe in children is the result of learning. The more anxious parents are, the more often they see the Terrible and teach their children: «It’s terrible!» It’s scary to be alone, it’s scary to go out in the evening, it’s scary to trust people … Teaching fear comes not only from the outside: children (mostly girls) themselves learn to be afraid, because being afraid is interesting, accepted and beneficial.

What we fear and how much we fear depends on many factors. It depends on the characteristics of our body, on the habits of our spiritual life, on the qualities of our mind and on the strength of our spirit. It can be said in another way: in our fears there is something that determines our body, there is the influence of culture, and there is a personal position of each of us.

Fears, attitudes towards fears are an important part of human culture. In different national cultures, in different groups and subcultures, there is a norm of fear — an accepted and permitted level of fears. In the culture of men and women, in different groups and parties, in groups of different ages, professional denominations and different states, the norm of fear can vary greatly.

Girls are more allowed to be afraid and cowardly, boys less so. Little boys can be afraid, men can no longer be afraid. At the same time, the most cowardly Spartan warriors were much bolder and more courageous than most modern male office workers.

The norm of fear is changeable and usually depends on the level of fears of the body and on what has been brought up in a person or the person has brought up in himself.

Adults deal with fear differently. Adult men learn to live without fears, girls and women often play with fears and use fears, most often next to men.

The feeling of fear is a popular social toy. The experience of fear can be attractive for both children and adults, both in a game and in a serious version. Fear is playable and quite popular, especially with children and women.

Adult men pay less attention to their feelings and are primarily concerned with their behavior: the opportunity to do something, despite the fear.

To feel chilling fear, to be afraid to shiver — everything can be an exciting game, it is not for nothing that horror films are so popular: people themselves pay money for the opportunity to be afraid in the dark.

Some young people who do not yet understand what responsibility is like to play big fear: indeed, any high-rise jump can be your last step in your short life.

While someone is playing fear, playing courage, others are playing fear, playing everyday fears. The game of fear has its own intrinsic benefits and is quite popular. “To be afraid”, the experience of “as if fear” allows you to successfully attract attention to yourself, takes time with exciting experiences and allows you, under a convenient pretext, not to do what you don’t want or it’s difficult.

Pay attention to their everyday fears and tend to experience them — mostly women. Habitual anxiety can often go unnoticed or denied by the person himself, who sees his behavior not as disturbing, but quite natural and adequate. Watch the video “Normal Anxious Mom” — most likely, the mother does not see her anxiety, does not notice and will not agree that she is anxious.

When the game of fear is played with involvement, it turns out to be quite serious and causes the same consequences as fears that are not far-fetched, but initially real. What starts as a game gradually becomes life. Perhaps it is against this background that with age, especially among older people, fear is often formed as a basic worldview, the vision «The world is terrible.» The unfortunate face, powerless gestures, the position of the Victim and phrases like: “Lord, it’s scary!”

Fear is an amazing tool invented by nature and has long been, although not always successfully, built into human culture. You need to learn to treat fears and anxiety reasonably, based on the fact that fear is a useful hint, not a guide to action. Considering fear is right, being guided by fear is dangerous. When it’s scary, courage is not ignoring fear, but behavior that comes from the goal and the objective state of things, including taking into account possible risks. Weak people are helped by the ability to work with fear, strong people are helped by the ability to be above fear.

A strong person does not need to work with fear, just as one does not need to work with the problem of washing: why work here, go and wash yourself! However, competent strategies of behavior in a tense and terrible situation are a useful thing. No matter how strong a person is, anyone can be scared, a strong person differs only in that he knows how to understand what is happening, get together — and do everything necessary …

Reason is the best remedy for fear and anxiety. Anxiety is lower in people who lead a reasonable: business and orderly lifestyle. Most of all, people who have free time, live in comfort, are unorganized and do not like discipline have the most anxiety. People who are busy and disciplined worry less than others. In particular, the control of thinking contributes to the reduction of anxiety — this is the habit of thinking about what you need, and not thinking about what you should not, so as not to frighten yourself.

The best thing to calm down is business. Reasonable actions distract from the fears of the one who is worried, and change the situation itself to a more prosperous one.

Fears and anxiety in practical psychology

Fear can be formed, fear can be removed. Dealing with fears is a popular request from clients. Working with children’s fears has its own specifics, if only because the children themselves very rarely formulate a request for freedom from fear. A typical request of a child: «Sit with me, I’m scared!», while children do not always want to be freed from fear.