One of the most powerful childhood fears is the fear of the dark. The author of books on family psychology, mother of five children, Larisa Surkova tells how to help a child cope with it, and warns parents against common mistakes.
February 12 2018
According to statistics, 80% of children between the ages of three and ten are anxious if they just turn off the lights in the room. The twilight appears to kids as an abyss in which unpleasant and even dangerous creatures are hiding. This fear can simply arise from a rich imagination. But often the parents themselves create the basis for frightening fantasies. Family conflicts, strict upbringing, stress associated with adaptation in kindergarten or school – any negative external factors affect the psyche and wake up non-existent monsters.
• Lock the child in a dark room while trying to knock out a wedge with a wedge. This test will cause panic in the crumbs. In addition, he will become afraid of mom and dad, who bring him up harshly.
• Make fun of your baby if he is afraid to sleep without light. This is a serious problem for him, he is waiting for help.
• Use childhood experiences to get you to do something. For example, some parents say: “If you don’t eat, Baba Yaga will come and take you to the forest.” Intimidation will not lead to good.
• Watch films and programs with a child where there is negativity and aggression. Even if the kid does not sit in front of the TV, but plays on the sidelines, he hears and catches everything.
Better use these 7 ways to allay your childhood fears.
1. Create a psychologically comfortable atmosphere at home
Do not sort things out with your husband in front of the crumbs, control what you say. Exclude the words “dangerous”, “horror”, “nightmare” from the lexicon, they increase the anxiety of the baby.
2. Don’t show your own experiences
But at the same time, tell your child what you yourself were afraid of as a child. The fact that mother once also experienced fear and overcame it will reassure the son or daughter.
3. Draw fear
Invite the preschooler to portray or dazzle someone who bothers him in the dark. Convince that the creature is not scary, and if you add a smile and kind eyes to it, it will become prettier. But do not limit the children’s knowledge of the world, the child must be prepared for the fact that there is enough evil in life. At the same time, do not forget to explain that Koschey the Immortal and other bad heroes exist only in books.
4. Present a protector toy
Let it be a character that the kid considers strong or reliable: bear, lion, Cheburashka. Explain that he is a friend. And also offer a bright and pleasant to the touch “magic” blanket, under which you can hide from the villain, frightening from the darkness.
5. Let the child fall asleep with a night light
Only its light should be very weak. Do not leave the lamp on all night, the preschooler needs to get used to the fact that darkness is a natural phenomenon. Constant bedtime ritual will ease anxiety. You can read books, sing funny songs, or chat.
6. Play dark games
Hide and seek, blind man’s buff, search for “treasure” – arrange them at dusk. Give your child a flashlight, he will feel more confident with it.
7. Professional approach
If all of the above tips do not help, and children’s fear only intensifies over time, this may be a consequence of serious psychological trauma. Seek help from a specialist as soon as possible. He will find out the cause of the problem.