Fear of being forgotten or ignored: treatments for Atazagoraphobia

Hello, dear readers of the site! Athazagoraphobia is a pathological fear of being forgotten or ignored by other people. Today we will deal with the main causes, symptoms and treatments.

What is it like?

Wanting to stay for a long time, and maybe forever in the memory of people, the history of the city, society as a whole is a completely normal and natural desire.

Such a symbolic immortality, to keep your name for centuries, so that even after hundreds of years everyone will remember and know that such a wonderful person once lived. This is what sometimes pushes humanity to heroic deeds and brilliant creations.

It’s just that for someone this desire is weakly expressed, due to the fact that such a person cares more about other values. And someone is very strong, so much so that it provokes the emergence of a phobia, which is called athazagoraphobia.

In different sources, this term is also interpreted in different ways. Starting with the fact that it is a fear of losing memory and forgetting who I am, to stop recognizing close and dear people.

And ending directly with horror at the thought that others will stop paying attention and eventually forget about my existence. As a result, I will feel abandoned, alone, and even stop believing in what I really am.

It can also be accompanied by anxiety about the meaninglessness of life. That I will not be able to do something meaningful, worthy of attention. And then there will be no mention of me at all.

It manifests itself throughout any period of life. That is, it is also relevant among children who still do not really have life experience and ideas about the world around them.

It is the same among older people who are worried about whether someone will be able to provide them with help and care. When they are no longer able to perform even simple self-service functions on their own.

And even in moments of crisis, there is an aggravation. And, as we know, crises always accompany a person.

Causes

Fear of being forgotten or ignored: treatments for Atazagoraphobia

Psychological trauma

For example, if the child had difficulties in the school team. He was ridiculed or, conversely, ignored — this could cause the development of athazagoraphobia.

Also in the case when the baby in childhood, for some reason, remained alone for a long time.

For example, this happens in dysfunctional families. Parents get drunk and just do not pay attention to what is happening around. And, especially what their children need. Which can generally be given to a boarding school, so as not to interfere.

An obsessive fear of abandonment occurs if the child is not taken from the garden at the right time. Then he will continue to worry about whether history will repeat itself again, whether mom and dad will definitely take him home.

Character traits

Very timid and insecure people experience a lot of tension due to intrapersonal conflict.

That is, on the one hand, there is a fear of being noticed, visible, and on the other hand, on the contrary, forgotten and ignored. Two completely opposite needs are frustrated and the psyche does not understand which one to satisfy.

And it happens that a person is too aggressive, he does not know how to establish contact with other people, build close and trusting relationships. Therefore, most of the time he spends in complete solitude.

Naturally, then he will worry about who will remember him if he is gone or disappears for some period?

Who will take care when he is old and unable to walk? Who simply goes to the store for groceries or medicines if no one cares about him at all?

Fear of being forgotten or ignored: treatments for Atazagoraphobia

Crises

As already mentioned, crises accompany a person all his life. Especially difficult is the midlife crisis.

Usually during this period, people realize that most of the time has passed. And little of what was planned was turned into reality. Goals are not achieved, health is already beginning to fail, wrinkles appear.

That’s when thoughts about the meaninglessness of their existence creep in. What will only get worse and the like.

You will learn more about what are the main causes of the development of phobias directly from the article on this topic.

Symptoms

Diagnosing this type of phobia is sometimes quite difficult. Since the symptoms that are characteristic of him sometimes do not cause suspicion that something is wrong and it’s time to seek help.

At least take the experience that in the event of a serious illness, no one will take care — it can be said that it is a “reasonable” reaction if there is tension in relations with loved ones and you don’t want to complicate someone’s life with your presence, since constant care is needed.

The disorder itself can progress slowly, gradually gaining momentum. What is dangerous and hard to recognize.

But still, if you have a fear of being abandoned, forgotten, and it is accompanied by certain physiological symptoms, then be sure to consult a specialist. To confirm, or better, exclude the presence of athazagoraphobia.

Fear of being forgotten or ignored: treatments for Atazagoraphobia

Main somatic signs:

  • High blood pressure and frequent headaches;
  • Palpitations and pains in the heart, which are frightening, as it seems that a heart attack will happen now and death will surely occur;
  • A change in the color of the skin, that is, a person either blushes or turns pale.
  • Excessive sweating, regardless of season and temperature;
  • stomach problems, in particular diarrhea, nausea, vomiting;
  • Dizziness and loss of consciousness;
  • Hand tremor and lack of coordination;
  • Panic attack, accompanied by hysteria and lack of air;
  • Sleep disturbances, mostly insomnia, sometimes tormented by nightmares;
  • Not always, but often accompanied by addiction. For example, with the help of alcohol or narcotic substances, he tries to cope, to “drowse” pain, fear, anxiety. Thanks to computer or gambling games, «escape» from reality, and so on.

Psychological manifestations:

  • Afraid to be in the company of strangers;
  • It becomes uncomfortable when someone pays attention, or vice versa, is carried away by a conversation with another person, turning on, so to speak, ignore;
  • Can act too provocatively in order to stand out, which, of course, often backfires.
  • A lot of anxiety rises at thoughts about the meaning of life, about its significance for the people around it, and so on;
  • A thirst for recognition, admiration, and almost every minute it should be confirmed that he is dear and valuable, loved and respected;
  • Obsessive ideas that close people do not notice him at all, perhaps even hate him and wait for him to be gone.
  • Low self-esteem, which can also manifest itself in arrogance. A person hides behind them so that no one will know how ashamed he is to be himself.

Situations that provoke an attack

  • When plans are broken and it seems that you can’t control your life at all.
  • If it is not clear what the vocation is, the meaning of life. What talents or strengths do you have?
  • Someone refuses to meet. And it doesn’t matter what his reasons are. Rejection is perceived as rejection.
  • Awareness of how valuable and loved other people are, which causes horror that feelings are not mutual.
  • Someone forgot about his promise due to various circumstances. It is perceived personally, as if they had already forgotten about it.
  • The people around did not appreciate some act, did not listen to his opinion.
  • They didn’t answer the phone, they didn’t call back at the promised time, etc.

Fear of being forgotten or ignored: treatments for Atazagoraphobia

Aftermath

  • Fear of being forgotten can lead to complete isolation of a person from society. Then he simply degrades, that is, not only stops developing, but also loses the skills and knowledge already acquired. What is degradation, and how to avoid it, you will learn more here.
  • Depression will inevitably arise against the background of constant worries, stress, tension. Unfortunately, sometimes it leads to disastrous consequences. This refers to attempts to commit suicide that end successfully.
  • Exacerbation of chronic diseases, the emergence of new, sometimes extremely life-threatening.
  • A person who is fixated on his anxieties ceases to perform his work duties in a quality manner. He is not so attentive and sensitive to his beloved people, sometimes he even takes out his anger on them. And this, as you understand, threatens with dismissal, divorce and other troubles, which will only confirm the idea that the fear of being abandoned is quite rational and justified.
  • High risk of becoming addicted, from alcohol, gambling, drugs and so on.

Treatment

Psychotherapy

A psychologist, a psychotherapist will conduct, so to speak, research work in order to find out where the development of athazagoraphobia originates from.

For example, from childhood, or after breaking up with a significant friend. In connection with the incident, after which colleagues or acquaintances turned away, they began to shun and so on.

It will also help develop new behavioral strategies that will help meet needs, and not vice versa. For example, do not push people away, hoping that they will still remain nearby. And appreciate and cherish their presence in your life.

In general, together with a psychotherapist, you will get to know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, desires. Become more aware and more likely to find peace or what you really need.

Group work is quite effective. When a certain number of people with similar problems are gathered in one space. Then, by sharing his experiences with them, a person receives support, because he is understood, and not considered abnormal.

Fear of being forgotten or ignored: treatments for Atazagoraphobia

Psychiatry

Consultation with a psychiatrist is necessary in order for him to confirm or deny the presence of the disorder, to assess its degree. And most importantly, he prescribed the necessary medications that will help cope with the symptoms.

Because after the first meetings with a psychotherapist, especially tangible changes may not occur, and resources must somehow be restored if a person does not really sleep for a long period.

Then he is prescribed medications that will help to cope with insomnia, eliminate anxiety and cheer up at least a little.

Mostly prescribe drugs such as beta-blockers, they are effective in panic attacks, as well as antidepressants, tranquilizers and antipsychotics.

In no case should you self-medicate. Therefore, you should definitely go for a consultation with a specialist. And only then, having received a prescription and instructions for the use of prescribed drugs, take the pills.

Completion

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Take care of yourself, your loved ones and, of course, be happy!

The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina

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