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Old age is what awaits many of us at the end of life. How to stop treating this age as a continuous suffering? Let’s try to choose those settings that help you age more calmly.
Old age is loneliness, loss of strength, a constant feeling of weakness and helplessness. Old age is a long-awaited freedom, travel, communication with children and grandchildren, noisy family feasts. Which of these definitions seems more true to you? Your answer can predict how happy your own golden years will be, psychologists say.
Myths versus facts
Some ideas about old age are difficult to refute. Indeed, our body wears out over time, ceases to be as flexible and obedient as in youth. It becomes more difficult for us to do the usual things. I have to take a lot of medicines and often go to the doctors. Use a cane and hearing aid.
But many common views on old age are controversial. This also applies to life satisfaction in general, and changes associated with age. Research shows that older people are much more satisfied with relationships with loved ones. Older workers make fewer mistakes than their younger counterparts. In addition, in old age, our brain begins to better distinguish the main from the secondary.
Old age is a belief
What determines whether our old age will be “in joy”? Recently, there is increasing evidence that a happy and long life in later years is associated with a positive perception of old age in general. Those who associate old age only with decline are more likely to suffer from memory problems, heart disease, and recover more slowly from injuries. They even die earlier – by about 7,5 years.
But psychologists at the Yale School of Public Health (USA) discovered something else. A positive perception of our old age depends on what information we receive from the outside world. If we constantly see smiling older people and hear that old age is a time of new opportunities and impressions, we begin to live in accordance with this program.
The power of positive stereotypes
Stereotypes about old age are laid in us by family and environment. They form part of the life script that determines our behavior. If we have been constantly told that people are lonely and unhappy in old age, we will take it for granted. Unfortunately, this happens often. “In most Western countries, the perception of old age and aging is predominantly negative,” says Dana Kotter-Gruen, professor of psychology at Duke University (USA).
What can be countered by negative messages? First of all, look for an alternative. There are many inspiring images of old age around us: a caring grandmother, a gray-haired professor with a penetrating look, a wise writer, actor or director. Think about them when you imagine your old age. Another way out is to stop automatically attributing certain problems to age. For example, type XNUMX diabetes in old age does not occur on its own, but due to malnutrition and a sedentary lifestyle.
Don’t be self-indulgent
Of course, all this does not mean that we need to put on rose-colored glasses and not notice changes in our body. Happy older people always see themselves as a little younger than their actual age. This is a good psychological trick. “By distancing ourselves from our age, we also distance ourselves from negative stereotypes about it,” says psychologist David Weiss.
The main idea is to not let the numbers hypnotize you. We can acknowledge that something has changed in our body. But no one obliges us the next day after our sixtieth birthday to wrap ourselves in a woolen scarf and sit on a bench in front of the house. May you no longer be able to score a ball far or run long distances. But instead of giving up your favorite activities, you can just move the gate a little closer and switch to race walking.