Fathers, children and rock and roll

Music unites generations? In the case of our heroes, definitely. First-person narrative and expert commentary.

2012 was the year of musical anniversaries: 50 years of Viktor Tsoi, the Rolling Stones, the first radio recording of the Beatles… These songs are now being listened to by teenagers together with their parents – contrary to the myth of eternal misunderstanding and total conflict between fathers and children.

“A teenager acquires his musical tastes, relying not only on the tastes of his peers, but also on the cultural values ​​of the parental generation,” says psychologist Sergey Stepanov. “And he doesn’t necessarily reject them, unless he perceives the atmosphere in his family as hostile. Moreover, in fact, the musical self-expression of different generations is not so different. After all, today’s fathers and mothers also found their tastes in a difficult time of growing up, in the struggle with the tastes of their own parents. And they remain committed to the idols of youth, who, if you listen carefully, sang almost the same and about the same thing, which is cute for a modern teenager.

Today we live differently than 25-30 years ago. Then everything was simpler: the Soviet parental reinforced concrete against peers who were hippie and drawn to Western rock. The choice for most teenagers was obvious. Now there is less reinforced concrete in the parental way, and the world of “their own”, peers, has broken up into many subcultures: here are punks, and emo, and metalheads, and goths … It is not easy to make a choice. And the opportunity to find a foothold in the tastes and attitudes of their parents for many teenagers is very helpful. Again, provided that family relations allow the child not to perceive parental attitudes as hostile. And parents have a desire to share what they love.”

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“Sometimes my father and I sing something of ours” “When my father turned on the songs of Viktor Tsoi for the first time, I didn’t like it terribly. I remember I acted like a little fool: I ran around the apartment and plugged my ears. True, I was then quite small – about 6 years old. But after a while he staged Tsoi again, and I realized that I liked it. I think my father specifically wanted to introduce me to music that he liked. And he succeeded. Today Choi is one of my most favorite musicians. There are few of my friends who listen to the same music as me. Even now, but at the age of 12-13 there were only a few. Friends listened mainly to rap, pop. And there was a period when I tried to adapt to them. But she just couldn’t. I remember that just at this time, my father once approached me and said: “Katya, what are you listening to …” And that’s it, and left. There was no reproach or edification in this, he did not impose anything, he simply expressed his attitude. It sounded like this: why listen to bad music if you know that there is good? And it became clear to me that he was right. He is generally very musical, in his youth he even composed songs himself, he and his friends had their own group, but this, you know, is a basement. My father still plays the guitar, and when his friends come to us, they often sing – also rock, “Crematorium”, for example, or “Aria”. As a child, when I liked some of their songs, I immediately ran to look for them on the Internet. Now they gather less often, but on holidays it still happens. And sometimes, if there is time, the father takes the guitar and starts playing. And then I sit down to him, and together we sing something of ours.

TEENS Territory: A guide for parents of teenagers

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