Father of many children: funny post

Sometimes even one child for a man is a real test. And imagine that there are five children at once! Once mom-blogger Amy Midvedt, returning from a business trip, found on the computer a funny report from her husband, who was left alone for two days with their five children.

“My god, guys, I’m going to burst with laughter. I saw the post of my spouse. I confess, I’m a little angry with him, because he, it turns out, writes much funnier than me, “- wrote Amy on her page with a title that only mothers will understand:” Hiding with coffee in the closet. “

“The real everyday life of a father whose wife left the city” – this is how a man who happened to be left with five children called his post. And this is what he writes:

“My wife recently left the city for a couple of days for work and left me in charge. Sounds tempting, doesn’t it? So this is how my morning went.

The alarm went off. Damn, how early! I knew that I needed to get three out of five children out of bed to send them to school. Arranged myself to brainstorm how to do it without getting out of my own bed. I decided to make their smartphones beep using the Find iPhone app. But these rascals have switched their phones to offline mode. After several attempts, I still decided to leave my soft warm bed in order to personally wake the children up.

Made coffee. I heard that the older girls were quarreling. I could say “enough” or “enough, please.” But instead, he simply handed his son a box of cereal and a spoon with the words: “Breakfast is ready.”

The son needs to sign some documents for the school. A total of four pages. I look at the number. It turns out that I should have read and signed them yesterday. Calm down, I’ve already thought of everything. I’ll leave this for my wife when she gets back from a business trip. The hashtag is “everything is under control.”

There is a disaster in the kitchen, the house is like after a bombing. But I’m not worried. I’ll have time to clean up an hour before my wife arrives.

I burned a bun in the toaster I was making for my daughter. I think I can hear her praying, “Mommy, come back soon.”

In order not to waste time collecting school lunches for children, I decided to transfer money to a special account at the school. Easy to say! How to do this, I still did not understand, so I puzzled my wife. She sorted out the issue over the phone while in another state. Hashtags “we did it”, “victory”.

Older children need $ 20 each to pay for the school bus. And I haven’t held cash in my hands for several years. I told the children that I would bring the money later, as soon as I saw them all out the door.

When the first wave of children subsided, it was time to raise the second wave. It was difficult to do this. Apparently, we shouldn’t have arranged for ourselves a chocolate-candy bar until late at night yesterday.

And here’s a new problem. I need to find shorts for my daughter who is going to some school holiday. She is already close to bursting. I told her that I would help in the search while fried sausages on sticks like a madman for a 6-year-old son. It looks like convenience foods are the best solution right now, given that I haven’t even had a cup of coffee since morning.

Oh yes, coffee! I completely forgot I made myself coffee. So what was I supposed to do there today from the list my wife left?

The son decided he wanted macaroni and cheese. I put them on the stove to cook 10 minutes before the school bus arrives for the children. But after doing some mathematical calculations in my mind, I realized that getting the children together for the bus arrival would be a problem. I decided that I would take them myself. Plus I was still looking for shorts for my daughter.

But none of the shorts were found. I had to choose from other options. So, 15 minutes before the start of lessons, and we sit and think about which shorts to choose: polka dots or striped. We stopped at the latter. And no tears. Hashtag “victory again”.

For the first time in the day I managed to sit down, just for a minute. Finally he took a sip of cold coffee. And run again. Took the younger children to school. Dropped out of the car and made sure they got to the door. The hashtag is “dads are really worried.”

Returned home to get ready for work. I sent a message to the boss, warned that I might be late.

Remembered! I still need to get the money for the school bus. Stopped at the store to use the ATM. Okay, okay, also to buy yourself a burrito for breakfast.

I steer to the school where the older daughters study to give money … Hmm, and this burrito is even better than I expected. I parked in the parking lot, wrote my daughter’s name on the envelope with the money … Damn it, this burrito is good!

I go to school, leave an envelope with money and write a message to my daughter so that she doesn’t forget to pick it up. I go back to my car and finally get ready to go to work. Although … the burrito was so delicious and that’s all I can think of right now. And that store is very close … So, despite the fact that I am already decently late for work, I turn the car around and go to the store for another burrito. I am not kidding. There is so much cheese in it! Ideal ratio of eggs and cheese. So be in that store, be sure to try their burritos. He’s so good. “

Looks like that burrito was the best event of the day for a father of five.

“Thank you Todd. I am so happy that you survived, “commented on the post of the father of many children of his spouse.