Many women dream that their beloved husband and future daddy are present at childbirth. So that he would hold her hand, help her go through this difficult many hours’ journey and be the first to see the baby, cut the umbilical cord. Some men take a long time to persuade to take this step. But not the husband of our heroine. He just longs to be at the birth of his wife. But she is against it.
The girl told this story in the community on the social network. She explains: she does not want to let her husband come to the hospital, not because she does not want him to see her in an unsightly light. It’s all about those, according to her, terrible and stressful demands that he presented to her during all nine months of pregnancy, especially in the last weeks.
It is not for nothing that psychologists unanimously repeat: all problems come from childhood. Sergei’s mother died in childbirth when the boy was born. Dad raised him. The father was everything to the baby. And overprotected his son. He did not let him go even in marriage. The father-in-law is constantly somewhere near the young family, knows about everything that is happening with them, what they think and dream about. “My husband’s father is too active a part of our life,” says the mother-to-be.
But this is all half the trouble. The main thing is that the father-in-law is convinced that the daughter-in-law will definitely die during childbirth, as happened with his wife. And he managed to convince his son that this is almost inevitable.
“Sergei and his father are already talking openly about my death in childbirth. No hints. At first I just tried to calm my husband down, saying that everything would be fine, that no one would die and we would be a happy family. But he didn’t quit. Father dripped on his brain, and he gave me. And instead of rejoicing at the future baby, buying him booties and sliders, I am already shaking at the sight of little things: what if I really don’t see my child?
And one day we went for a walk. Together. Finally! My husband did not say exactly where, and I was even delighted. It was as if I had returned to the time when we met. He could also take my hand, say “let’s go” and lead me on a date with candles and musicians. And here we go, I’m in anticipation of a pleasant surprise. Suddenly we stop at a glass door with the inscription “notary”. Everything snapped inside me. But I couldn’t even imagine what exactly he would ask.
Shortly before the birth, my husband brought me to a notary to … I make a will. Will! Here it is, a surprise. I ran out of there in tears, he caught up with me, hugged me. He said that this is nothing special. Simple formality, but if I make a will, it will be easier for him. I love him. And I agreed. For a while, everything settled down.
But after a couple of weeks, I was waiting for another blow. On Sunday morning, my husband asked me to review my things and decide which of this I would like to keep for the child and which I would like to return to my family. After all, I will die in childbirth.
At the same time, a woman’s pregnancy proceeds without complications, there are no objective reasons to believe that the expectant mother will die in the maternity chair. But neither the husband nor the father-in-law can be convinced by any tests that everything will go well.
“I feel that my father-in-law is already dreaming that I would die. After all, he was an exemplary single father all his life, went through a lot and now looks forward to passing on his experience to his son. They both act like my due date is my date of death. And in order to experience my impending departure less painfully, my husband withdraws further and further. I have told him many times that because of this behavior, I suffer, and the baby also suffers. But he doesn’t hear. And recently I found out that he wants to go to childbirth with his father. And they decided that they would not allow me to undergo anesthesia – they would lay down bones, but I would not get an epidural or even a drip with baralgin. I’m tired of all this. I don’t want them to be in the delivery room – neither one nor the other. “
The cry of the soul of the expectant mother is heard by everyone except the closest ones. In the comments, people advise her to fully concentrate on childbirth, talk to her doctor, describe the situation, go to an appointment with her husband.
“This is, of course, too cruel. And so the hormones play, and then they tell you that you will die. I would run away from such a husband. ” “You need a good psychotherapist. Together with her husband. Arrange such a date for him. ” “This is your pregnancy, your body and your birth. You have the right not to let anyone in. Except for doctors. “
What advice would you give to a mother-to-be?