In a world that attacks us with an excess of stimuli, we begin to look for minimalism and spiritual asceticism. Easter is a great opportunity to renew and start everything anew – says an outstanding psychotherapist, founder of the Institute of Psychoimmunology, author of many books on the border of psychology and spirituality.
Agata Sadurska, Medonet: In the past, Easter was closely related to the rhythm of nature. After a period of lack and sacrifice, a time of joy and celebration began, and its preparation was often paid for with enormous effort, also material. Today, holidays do not have that dimension. What exactly do we need them for?
Wojciech Eichelberger: To catch my breath. Unless, of course, we are wise enough not to get too busy.
And that’s it?
Holidays are still a sacred time to use Mircea Eliade’s terminology, that is, beyond an individual existence that is closed, has a beginning and an end. The year is a symbol of eternity, holidays are out of time – so thanks to a religious story, we have the opportunity to participate in a mystery that transcends the individual dimension of existence. But non-believers can also take advantage of the holiday atmosphere. Nature is reborn, everything revives and blooms, and then we think about renewal, a new life. People say goodbye to the past, forgive their enemies, open up to what is new. You could say that Christmas is a memento, a reminder that something new and important can always happen.
How to use such a reminder?
Many people are seduced by the customs they usually followed during the holidays. I am not talking about religious rituals, which must of course be the same, but about what we do after that in our spare time. The same people, the same places, the same conversations, the same taste of the mazurka … It gives a sense of security, but is not able to lead us to change. Sometimes it may be a good solution to break this traditional ritual. For example, going out with people with whom we have some important emotional problems to deal with, uncomfortable matters. The holy perspective of eternity helps in seeking forgiveness or understanding. We don’t always have to spend holidays in ritual murder and anesthesia, always with the same people. The novelty refreshes sensitivity and affection.
So maybe it’s worth being alone during Christmas?
Certainly if we want to look at ourselves. However, it is good to be aware of the dimension of loneliness that we are able to endure. Not everyone without preparation can go to a desert retreat. Even a week spent in silence and solitude can terrify the unprepared.
And a safe dose of loneliness?
It is one that puts you back in touch with yourself. The increasingly popular mindfulness training, i.e. full presence in what we experience here and now, helps in this. It is especially useful for those who live in chaos, a state of constant distraction, worry about the future, and reflect on the past. In order to practice mindfulness, you do not need to go to a monastery, it is enough to fully engage your awareness in the activities you are doing at the moment. If we work, let’s work with full commitment, if we listen to someone, then with full attention, if we clean, let’s focus on it, if we eat, then we only eat. We can perform any activity either carefully and carefully, or in a rush and distraction, ignoring the wonders of life. Mindfulness gives a new, special – in some sense sacred – quality to every action and every moment lived. It brings us back in touch with the world, allows us to experience life anew and sensitively, even when we live in difficult conditions or under great pressure.
Research shows that we attach less and less importance to religious customs. Holidays are associated with intense bustle, rather than attending mass. There is one exception: Lent, which is adhered to by 85%. Poles.
Fasting is a universal, non-religious ritual. It also has a purely physiological, physical dimension, because at the turn of the seasons, the body wants to cleanse itself, get rid of deposits and excess winter fat. But the most important thing about the post is that the cleansed and lighter body covers and drowns our spiritual being less. Fasting makes the soul visible.
Do we even know what renunciation and asceticism mean today?
Contrary to appearances, against the whole ideology of consumerism that applies in the media, I think so. More and more intensively and more often we start looking for some kind of discipline and self-limitation. I can see it among my patients, but also friends and acquaintances. In a culture of excess and excess, the pursuit of minimalism brings relief and a sense of freedom. The so-called generation Y, which cannot be maneuvered into the realization of consumer, pop culture patterns and dreams.
What other lessons can we learn with ourselves during the holidays?
Holidays force us to break away from the daily hustle and bustle. It is salutary, especially for those who do not know how to do it on their own and are unable to get out of the treadmill of work that can lead us to complete exhaustion. Then there is a breach of non-renewable resources, the so-called birth energy whose function is to sustain life. In order to prevent this from happening, we must learn to wisely manage our energy resources on a daily basis. How to do it? First of all, breathe properly (diaphragm), eat tasty, healthy but in moderation, practice presence and concentration so as not to tire yourself with imaginations, recognize the state of emotional implosion and overload, and develop a habit of reacting with movement. Then learn to rest and regenerate quickly, as well as refuse and let go of the excess of matters and duties – and finally, to wisely take care of yourself, that is, to distinguish between what serves us and what harms us. I teach this to my clients during 8 x O workshops on how to manage your energy under stress. Of course, you can’t implement all these changes in the three days off, but you can get off to a good start …
Wojciech Eichelberger, founder of the Institute of Psychoimunology IPSI, vice president of the Masculinum Foundation, one of the most famous Polish psychologists and psychotherapists.