A child appeared in your family — he became a part of it, took his place in the hierarchy. And you want to share with him everything that is dear — traditions, principles, views. But how to do it right?
In order for a child to accept values and learn them, you must first become an example for him. If you yourself do not share family values, the child will definitely feel it and follow your example. Therefore, think carefully — do you take into account the traditions of the family? If not, why not?
Perhaps they are simply outdated and it is time to modernize them so that they help to live in modern society. In any case, you cannot require a child to observe something that you do not observe yourself.
The most important thing in family values is the ability to bring family members closer together, to make them a team that can cope with any adversity and everyone in it matters. Therefore, cherish the family heritage together, while giving enough attention to the child and allowing him or her to play a certain role in order to make the little person feel like a part of something bigger.
Values are often irrational, so it is difficult to explain to a child what they are and why to adhere to them. Show children your attitude to the values of the family through emotions and feelings, boldly express them and share them with others. This contributes to the development of the emotional intelligence of the child, which will allow him to grow into a person capable of empathy.
Family values
Tell stories from your own life about how family values influenced you, when they helped, and when you had to make difficult choices. Be sincere with your child when you pass on your experience to him, and do not be afraid to admit your mistakes, then a trusting relationship will be established between you. So you will become an authority for your children. But remember that family relationships are built on the basis of mutual respect, which the child also deserves.
Family values are primarily caring for each other, so do not try to instill them by force. Obsession will only repel a growing personality. Relations in the family should develop in such a way that each of its members can count on the support of loved ones, and not on condemnation. It is unlikely that a person will want to accept a culture that does not accept him.
Children will love family traditions and values if they are happy to follow them. And here it is very important to talk about family traditions. These are the norms accepted in the family, manners of behavior, views that are passed down from generation to generation.
Family traditions and rituals, on the one hand, are an important sign of a healthy and functional family, and, on the other hand, one of the most important mechanisms for passing on the laws of intra-family interaction to the next generations:
- distribution of roles in all spheres of family life;
- rules of intra-family communication;
- ways to resolve conflicts and overcome emerging problems.
Family traditions and rituals are based not only on social, religious and historical traditions and rituals, but are creatively complemented by their own, so they are unique.
Where do family traditions come from?
Family traditions are public — these are those that are talked about, and unspoken — those that all family members know about, adhere to them, but do not announce (most often they relate to everyday issues, communication style, distribution of responsibilities in the family).
If you want to create your own traditions, there are several ways to do it. You can invent them. Or you can use the situation that seemed successful to you. For example, you once invited neighbors and friends with children to visit on January 1st. The children started a fun game, the adults picked it up. As a result, everyone had a great time, everyone liked the post-New Year gatherings. So why not make them traditional? Most importantly, remember that the tradition should bring joy to all family members.
In some cases, traditions can be borrowed. For example, you visited relatives or friends. And they saw or even participated in some kind of fun, family activity. So why not hold it regularly at home, inviting friends and relatives as well?
Traditions help build trust and closeness between loved ones and show children what a family can really be.
7 ideas for a close-knit family
Here are some original ideas that can become your new family tradition:
- Family weather calendar. At the end of the day, each family member draws a Sun, Cloud, or Thunderstorm on the Family Weather Calendar. The sun — everything is fine in the family, the day went great. Cloud — there were some difficulties. Thunderstorm — there were serious troubles. Thanks to this calendar, you can clearly see the view of each family member on the family atmosphere and change it.
- Mindful dinner. At a joint dinner, each family member in turn suggests a topic for discussion: intra-family decisions, a historical event, a place for a future vacation … Such a tradition helps to better know the views of children and their attitude to a particular topic. In the end, you will know what your child is interested in.
- We greet with joy. A simple but very useful tradition. When one of the family members comes home, everyone greets him with hugs, smiles and kind words.
- Day leader. Once a week (for example, on a weekend) you appoint one of the family members as the Leader of the day. On this day, everyone obeys the Leader, fulfills his instructions (what to cook, where to clean, what to read or watch). Of course, before introducing such a tradition, it is necessary to discuss certain rules with the children: the usefulness of the decisions made for the whole family, the “environmental friendliness” of tasks, feasibility, and so on.
- Family book of events. Each member of the family can write in this book their impressions of the trip, holiday, hike. When you have guests, they should also leave a note about themselves in this book. This book is fun to read together.
- Box «While I was gone …» A great thing for divorced parents and those who are often on business trips. Before parting, put a video, a postcard, a note, a small gift, a photo in a small frame into this box. When the child is bored, he can open the box and read your message.
- Family Tree. Draw a family tree, stick or draw leaves. On each piece of paper, write the names and birthdays of all family members. Children will look at them and congratulate loved ones.
“Every parent wants their child to be happy and successful. So that he reveals his talents, so that he has a business that brings pleasure and success, and, of course, a happy family! Teaching a child to love family values and develop traditions in the family is an important task of modern parents, in which it is worth investing their time and attention, ”comments psychologist Yulia Amekhina.
About the experts: Alexander Kozlov — psychologist, teacher at the business school for children and teenagers of the MINIBOSS Business School; Yulia Amekhina is a psychologist, CEO of the MINIBOSS Children’s Business School.