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Do you and your partner fight from time to time? This is quite normal: family life without conflicts and disputes is something from the category of miracles. Another question is that in some couples the mismatch of views and desires causes serious conflicts that threaten the relationship. How to avoid it?
1. Listen more, talk less
Healthy two-way communication is important, but still try to listen and hear more. That is, try to look at the situation through the eyes of a partner, try to understand his point of view, no matter how difficult it may be. If in a dispute you understand the position of the interlocutor, then you begin to behave differently, and this favorably affects the course and result of the discussion.
2. Talk about what’s happening to you, even if it’s not easy.
More than one «family boat» crashed on the inability of one of the partners to express feelings and share pain. Even if you are one of the silent ones who stoically endure adversity and try to deal with everything on their own, you need to make an effort on yourself and learn to talk about feelings. If you are having a hard time right now, your partner has the right to know what is happening to you. Only in this way will he be able to understand why you behave the way you do and support you.
3. Compromise, but don’t compromise on everything.
If you always strive to have the last word, this is not the quality that helps build a healthy relationship. Being with someone who is always and in everything trying to prove his case is not an easy task. Compromise is the foundation of a healthy and happy relationship. This does not mean constantly giving up what you want to please your partner. This means fully accepting a person next to you, understanding his needs, not trying to change him and, of course, being able to negotiate.
4. Think before you act
Learn to constantly «keep in mind» your partner, his feelings and possible reactions. It is not necessary to give up plans, desires and goals, be careful with your loved one. Are you going to stay up late? Call. Do you want to go away with friends for the weekend? Talk about it. If you are thinking of spending part of the family budget on your hobby, moving your elderly mother to live with you, or quitting, discuss it.
5. Maintain intimacy
In the form that both like and suits, whether it’s sex, hugs, touches, jokes, long heart-to-heart conversations. If suddenly the current of life begins to drag you in different directions, you will have something to cling to and get closer again.
6. Spend time together and enjoy it
The key here is enjoyment. 1000 hours in front of the TV, at a distance from each other, without looking into each other’s eyes, do not count. As well as the time you spend together simply because you have nothing else to do.
7. Laugh together
Can you make each other laugh? Laughter is the secret ingredient to a happy relationship. Do not rush to humor in the spirit of stand-up comedians. But jokes that only the two of you understand, those that you can’t tell anyone else, strengthen the union. Humor will help you stay together in difficult times.
8. Plan the future together
Shared plans for the coming year, thinking about a joint mortgage — this shows that both of you are ready to invest in a relationship. And, of course, we need to go together towards the realization of common desires.