Ups and downs, ups and downs, quarrels and reconciliations – all this is natural for any, even the happiest marriage. If you as a couple want to successfully get through difficult times, try to keep a sense of humor in all situations. This is more effective than rolling your eyes and snorting contemptuously when one of you again forgot to take things out of the washing machine or committed a much more serious offense. We have collected for you 27 tweets about family life without embellishment.
1. “I don’t wish my husband a good day, but I just put a mountain of cheese in his scrambled eggs. I think the effect is the same.”
2. “I cry during dog food commercials. The husband quietly sneaks out of the room.
3. “My wife is sure that I will not argue with her in a cafe, so as not to make the waitress feel uncomfortable. Well, she’s wrong.”
4. “My wife is an introvert. That did not stop her from spending a lot of time, effort and money to make our house more comfortable for guests whom she would never invite into it.
5. “For some reason, my husband thinks that if he presses hard on the buttons on the remote control, the batteries will work again.”
6. “My husband and I got along much better when we realized how much our screaming upsets the dog.”
7. “My wife drank a couple of cocktails at dinner and now she wants to stop by a disco on her way home. If anyone needs me, look for me in the 1990s.”
8. “Before you marry someone, ask that person to eat a bowl of cornflakes, ask which side of the bed they sleep on, watch them brush their teeth, make sure you have the same heat exchange, try to survive side by side in the season of colds.
9. “Me: explaining to my husband how to tuck a blanket into a duvet cover. Husband: “I don’t want to be an adult anymore”
10. “Husband: “What are you doing?” Me, sitting in front of a pile of summer dresses and T-shirts: “I miss summer already.”
11. “What kind of monster sets his alarm clock so that it rings five minutes before yours? My wife”.
12. Husband: “I beg you, do not do this to us and our house!” Me: Adding another interior design photo to my Pinterest board.
13. “My wife always said that her love for me knew no bounds, but this week I have a vacation, I wander around the apartment doing nothing, and it seems that there are still some limits.”
14. “If I suddenly start to snore, my wife kicks me out into the living room. If the dog does this (and also drools on the pillow, growls), she only touches.
15. “I (throwing my wife’s clothes into the laundry): “Why is there another thing sewn into each of your clothes?”
16. No matter how hot the night is, do not underestimate the wife: her feet will be just icy when she throws them on you.
17. “Me (chewing loudly): “God, with this sauce, I’m ready to eat anything!” Husband: “What is this, an insole?”
18. “How do my husband and I like to spend our weekends? We shout to each other: “What did you say (a)?”
19. “To keep my husband in good shape, I write to him: “How could you do this to me ?!” at least twice a day.”
20. “My wife doesn’t do yoga, but I can’t joke about the fact that she wears yoga pants at home: I myself was in the gym back in the last century.”
21. “There are really important issues in life that require careful thinking. For example, can you stand as a couple collecting an IKEA closet together.”
22. “Wife (looks at the pile of my dirty clothes resting on the ceiling): “Isn’t it time to throw it all in the laundry?” Me: “No, those two T-shirts are still more or less clean.”
23. “Wife: I’ll put the box with a few cornflakes on the bottom back in the closet. Suddenly someone wants to eat them someday.
24. “Yes, I took my husband’s last name. But not because I’m not a feminist: I just don’t want my former classmates to find me on social networks.
25. “Sexting? Does it count to write to your husband at the height of the working day and inform you that a new season of his favorite series has been released?
26. “If you argue with your wife and your shirt has ketchup stains, you obviously lost.”
27. “My husband doesn’t know that I bought us shawarma. I already ate mine, it’s still intact. But it won’t be for long.”