Among the many crises, real and imaginary, with which we are frightened every day, the crisis of the family* occupies not the last place.
In all countries, the number of divorces is growing — in the most «advanced» it has exceeded 50%. The point, however, is not that the modern world denies the importance of the family. The family is still relevant, just its meaning and functions in our lives are changing. It turns into an individual project based on the personal choice and responsibility of each of us. Modern men and women are no longer convinced by the argument “everyone does it” — it is important for us to understand for what purpose we should share our life with another person.
Today, this goal is no longer what it used to be. Economic motivation — joint housekeeping — which has long remained the main one, is now receding into the background: both men and women are able to successfully live and make a career alone. Sex in the big city is also less and less limited to family boundaries. Raising children is an important topic, but not all families are focused on this.
The function of psychological support is becoming increasingly important in the modern family. No matter how much progressive men and women of all countries fight for their independence, the results of research are unambiguous: those whose lives include close, constant, satisfying relationships with a partner (it doesn’t matter if they are called family or otherwise) are happier, live longer and better themselves. feel in old age than those who do not have such relationships in life**.
Today, we are increasingly in need of family support. It means that our time and energy should be invested in it.
The family in our time is not a luxury: in a complex, changing world, we are more acute than before, we need this support. However, paradoxically, today we are less ready to build it, to invest time and energy in its development and preservation. Most likely, it’s just a matter of inertia.
We are too slowly coming to the realization of the changed role of the family and the need for a personal, creative attitude towards it, hoping that «everything will work itself out.» And when this does not happen, we attribute the failure to the so-called crisis. But the crisis is not in the families — in the minds. After all, the family is not something independent of us, it is ourselves. This means that we should solve all family problems with our efforts, without pointing at others, or at the notorious crisis, or at globalization.
* According to the Federal State Statistics Service of the Russian Federation ** M. Argyle «Psychology of Happiness». Peter, 2003; M. Seligman «The New Positive Psychology». Sofia, 2006; G. Vaillant «Aging well». Little, Brown and Co, 2002.