The Family Code is a set of laws for a particular family, combining the general principles of life like the Family Constitution and specific agreements from the Family Agreement.
The Family Code helps in case of disagreement to remember the agreed position and resolve the issue promptly and without unnecessary emotions.
Examples of real family codes
Family Code 1. «He who does something without violating agreements does not launch black crows.»
Family Code 2. «Each of us is completely free.»
Family Code 3. «To give joy to a loved one is the duty of every day.»
For families, WE with the head of the family propose the following family code:
Rise, lights out, breakfast, lunch and dinner — according to the schedule. You don’t do it on time and you were reminded: get better, don’t sulk and kiss the one who reminds you.
During a serious conversation, you can’t get upset: this is pressure on a partner.
We may have disagreements, but before the child we have only a common position. Mistakes of each are discussed later!
Mom’s decision is more important than any desire of the child. The family code is above the decision of the mother. The word of the pope is most important, but in the event of a contradiction between the word of the pope and the family code, the pope is obliged to clarify the situation and remove the contradiction. At the same time, at first we obey the father, then we explain ourselves with the father, if desired.
If there is tension in a relationship, the guilty person is responsible for it (and for the elimination of the problems that have arisen) — the one who violated the rules and thereby caused tension in the relationship. If one, then one. If both, then both.
If it is not clear to the head of the family who is to blame, “Negotiations!” are announced in the family. This means that the only serious topic that is now being discussed is what happened, who is wrong in what and what to do for the future. Reminder about the «Negotiations» mode — the head of the family puts on a special cap.
The right to pause: you can not solve the situation for 1 hour. Further, how many hours there is inaction, for so many hours the guilty person is punished: either with a socially useful hardship for the benefit of the family or deprivation of food. In the WE family, there is a more serious sanction — it is the victim who deprives himself of food.
The guilty person should offer to talk, indicating that the solution of this issue has the highest priority for him. The specific time of the conversation is determined by the victim, and in this case there are no penalties.
Anyone who assumes that he is guilty may not really understand what exactly he violated. This is fine. But it is wrong if he simply asks “what did I violate”: he must formulate a prepared question, he must work hard, think and put forward assumptions where and in what he was wrong. Orientation — three assumptions.
When it became clear what was violated, the violator (remember that often in a conflict situation both are violators, each in his own way) must apologize (ask for forgiveness), formulate conclusions and put forward options for solving the situation that has arisen and possible situations for the future. It is very good if he thinks over sanctions for himself, so that such mistakes will not be repeated in the future.