Contents
Hello dear blog readers! Today we will look at examples of how our environment affects us. After all, everyone has heard the saying «Tell me who your friend is — and I will tell you who you are.» It reflects the essence of the influence of society on the individual. And we will try to figure out not only why this is happening, but also which areas “suffer” in the first place.
Some general information
Man is a social being. And no matter what individual characteristics he possesses, the influence of society on him is simply inevitable. Under the influence of which he changes and reconsiders his views on life. Forms values and prioritizes.
There is even the so-called mirror rule. The meaning of this statement is that the people who are nearby reflect my personality, as in a mirror. The way it is, and not just the most beautiful side, as sometimes you want.
Some of their features do not want to recognize, notice, it is easier to endow them with others. In psychology, there is a protective mechanism — projection.
It seems to help keep our psyche healthy when it is faced with the need to cope with life’s complexities. But sometimes, on the contrary, it interferes if it is used too often. It also distorts reality.
Let’s say I keep anger in myself from some personal motives, fears. Accordingly, I do not realize at what moments I experience it. Therefore, I can reproach close and not very people for aggressiveness, get hurt about their words, which I consider offensive, evil. Although in fact they did not intend to hurt at all and did not mean anything bad.
So, thanks to the mirror rule, we can take a closer look at those who are nearby and understand that we don’t want to notice in ourselves that we categorically reject it. And also what kind of people we attract, what we react to. This greatly increases the level of awareness. This means that it affects work efficiency, relationships, worldview, and so on.
You can get more information about protection mechanisms by clicking on this link. Now let’s move on.
Influence examples
I bring to your attention examples of areas of life that “fall under attack” in the first place.
Lifestyle
The psychology of a person is such that he strives to be accepted by society, a group, individuals. It is important for him to feel his belonging to something, and sometimes to “merge” with the crowd, not being a “black sheep”. Only a few strive to be different and are not afraid to express their opinion, even if it is completely opposite to the opinion of the majority.
Accordingly, if your friends are athletes, or individuals who love outdoor activities, it is unlikely that you spend every weekend on the couch with a bottle of beer.
This is because we choose people who are like us. Or they arouse interest in their dissimilarity.
If you are an introvert, it is unlikely that there will be solid extroverts around. They will strain you, tire you with activity and emotionality. And you annoy them with your slowness and tendency to pessimism.
Dependence
When a drug addict enters the clinic, a comprehensive approach to his treatment necessarily includes psychotherapy with family members. Because it may be ineffective.
After all, getting into the previous conditions, which have not changed at all, he runs the risk of breaking loose and starting to use again. He has changed, but the people he comes into closest contact with have not. And then they will unconsciously provoke him to return to addiction.
Even constant monitoring to see if he has started again can cause a lot of irritation and impotence, as a result of which he really decides to «forget» in the usual way.
And relatives do this not on purpose, they simply worry that, for example, things will start to disappear from the house again, and their beloved son or daughter will ruin their health.
That is, control arises from a feeling of anxiety, and then it is important for parents to look for other methods of expressing it, more constructive, and not vice versa, pushing them to use dubious substances.
And then they are called co-dependent, because, with the advent of a drug addict in the family, one also has to change their lifestyle, ways of responding, even values and plans for the future.
As you can see, the environment sometimes has a paramount influence not just on success, but on life and health in general. Especially family, or those people with whom a person most often contacts.
Fight bad habits
A person who decides to quit smoking is faced with a serious problem that may well cast doubt on his plans and intentions. Do you understand what the problem is?
This is his environment, which is not going to part with this bad habit.
And if there are no smokers among his friends or colleagues, then he is lucky, there will be less temptations. Much.
But how much titanic effort will have to be made by someone who has acquaintances that are just grabbing a cigarette? Especially if at work it is customary to solve any business, discuss the news, gathered in a smoking room?
Anyone who does not participate in such meetings runs the risk of fighting off the collective. Since most of the information will pass by.
Or, if a person decides completely from alcohol, and his company does not imagine celebrating even minor events without a bottle. They are unlikely to understand and accept his choice.
There are high chances that he will simply be persuaded to drink at least one glass. So to speak, so as not to lose a common language and be on the same wavelength.
Success
Just imagine that an interesting idea came to your mind, by implementing which you can earn good money. Let’s say you open your own business. And, inspired, went with her to close people whom you love and trust.
Only now they, preferring stability, began to dissuade you, convincing you that you would lose a lot and achieve nothing. Because in this world only those who have not entirely positive personality traits «break through». For example, such as deceit, meanness and cruelty.
Having heard once, twice, and maybe several dozen times the words that nothing will come of it and it is better not to waste time in vain, most likely, the fuse to create and move mountains will dry up.
If you are surrounded only by wealthy individuals, you will learn from them, receive support, and also “acquire” useful connections.
There is even such a thing as networking — that is, the special creation of connections that may well come in handy in the future.
Suppose most of your acquaintances have a low financial situation, sometimes barely making ends meet. In moments of financial crises, you will most likely think that you are not the only one at a dead end. Others also live. This, of course, supports, but is unlikely to motivate action to finally change the situation.
Few people want to leave their comfort zone and take risks, change. Especially if the environment is also not very active. But if among your acquaintances there are those whom you, for example, envy, this will help move you forward.
For example, Albert Einstein in childhood was not at all distinguished by intelligence and quick wits. He was even suspected of dementia. But the spirit of competition helped him open his possibilities.
There was a boy in the class with whom the relationship did not work out. He took first place in the ranking of success. The desire to win and take a leading position prompted Albert to study more closely. And, in the end, the world knows nothing else about this guy, except that he motivated Einstein to become better.
What to do if loved ones are not the way you would like?
If you understand that your environment negatively affects you, or just not the way you would like, you should not immediately break ties. Moreover, blame your loved ones for not meeting your expectations.
A person who firmly decides to realize himself, to change, to know himself, will inevitably begin to change. And so does his relationship. Because he will become different, and the way of communication will not be the same, he will also become different. This will entail changes in the lives of those with whom he is closest.
In general, he will become like the rest, or the rest will become like him.
Therefore, just limit a little contact with those who do not share your views on work, leisure, health, and so on.
And be sure to let in your life those people who will help you become better and advance, both in your career and in personal relationships.
But in any case, do not take active steps to change those who are dear to you. Yes, these are good goals, but until a person himself realizes that he wants changes, it is unlikely that anyone will be able to influence him. You can simply face powerlessness and disappointment. This is what usually happens when we set out to «save» those who we think are living the wrong way.
For example, he abuses alcohol. Most rescuers are simply left with nothing, having lost a large piece of time. Yes, the intentions are excellent and it seems that it is thanks to you that he will be able to quit. But these are just illusions. In such cases, it is necessary not to be deceived, but to make a choice, either to accept such a person as he is, or to distance himself from him.
Completion
Surround yourself with people with whom you are not only interested and warm, but also along the way. Then you will have more chances to achieve success and self-realization. You will be able not only to share experience and knowledge, but also to receive support, without which it is sometimes very difficult.
Take care of yourself and be happy!
Also, we recommend reading an article about McClelland’s theory of motivation.
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina