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Confessing your feelings, asking for a raise, speaking in public – the fear of the new is familiar to everyone. However, many people are so fixated on potential failure that they risk missing out on the good that lies in the new experience. If the future scares you, use the recommendations of psychologists – they will help overcome fear.
Julia Kolotyrkinaclinical psychologist, psychotherapist
1. Imagine the worst case scenario
Often we exaggerate the possible consequences of a decision. Ask yourself: what is the worst thing that could happen to me? Think about what specific actions you can take in different scenarios. The “worst case scenario” will no longer be one, because you will have a ready plan for such a case. By assessing the likely consequences of a particular step, you will reduce the risk and be able to overcome fear by deciding on what you have been thinking about for so long.
2. Accept uncertainty for granted
We live in a constantly changing world where there can be no guarantees. Anxiety about the future prevents us from seeing the opportunities that life opens up for us every day. Of course, making plans is much safer than acting, but with the current unstable economic and political situation, there is a high risk of ruining these plans. Therefore, if you do not have them, at least you do not risk that one day they will collapse.
3. Start small
Most of the decisions we make are day-to-day, non-life-changing, but even they can be very troubling. Is it worth getting to know this person? Should I ask for a pay rise? If you dare to take small steps, you thereby make an investment in your future: new meetings, interesting experiences – all this can bring you considerable dividends over time. Inaction often hurts even more than a wrong decision. A good example: when we stop investing in relationships with relatives and friends, cancel meeting after meeting, do not pay attention to them, they imperceptibly move away from us, we stop understanding each other. Again, finding a way to each other is much more difficult than overcoming the fear of a new one.
4. Face reality
Faced with the truth is often unpleasant, but it brings us back to reality and helps us live in accordance with our own desires. Fear of the new can be paralyzing, but if you have the courage to explore it, you can learn a lot about yourself and part with illusions about your own life, relationships and opportunities.
5. Follow your heart
No one knows what the future has in store for him or where life will take him, so it is very important that caution does not prevent us from making decisions that can enrich our lives. If we live out of necessity and ignore our desires, we run the risk of feeling empty and sad towards the end of our lives. “Carpe diem – “enjoy the moment,” said Horace 2000 years ago. After all, it won’t be there tomorrow.
6. Be honest with yourself
Is your dream really worth the risk? If the answer is yes, do you understand what drives you to take this risk? Sometimes, in addition to obvious motives, there are hidden, deep reasons in our decisions: choosing a new one, we not only strive forward to a new goal, but also run away from our own fears, mistakes, feelings. The better you understand your ulterior motives (am I running to or from?), the easier it will be for you to overcome fear and not make the usual mistakes in a new field.
7. Stop being defensive
Before you start something new, sometimes you need to let go of the past. You give up a stable monthly salary in favor of freelancing or leave an unhappy union, leaving part of your own history in it. It is often necessary to sacrifice the usual way of life – a sense of stability and security will not soon appear with a change of scenery. The fear of the new often signals exactly this – you feel that you are losing your usual support. Try to look for new supports – they will support you on a new path, you can turn to them in moments of crisis, take a break and re-evaluate everything that you have.
Pass the tests
- Do you have phobias?
- What are you afraid of in communication?
8. Look for new friends
The dissatisfaction of the environment – friends and relatives – should not stop your new decision. If misunderstandings cannot be overcome and your loved ones refuse to respect your decision, even if it is erroneous, and do not provide support, you may not have much in common with them. Look for friends among those who have similar experiences and who are able to help you overcome fear, and not completely disappear into it.
9. Focus on what you know
To decide on something new, you need to step outside your comfort zone. In this new uncharted territory, you will not have answers to many questions that arise. Instead of thinking about what you don’t know, set yourself a foothold. For example, if it’s about moving to another city or country, think about the exciting job you’ve been asked to do and slowly plan your next steps. Do not let anxiety flood you, solve emerging issues gradually. Plan what steps you will take over the next week: join a gym, explore the area where you live, make social contacts, and so on.
10. Think
The new inevitably implies obstacles and therefore errors. Don’t focus on what you didn’t succeed in, treat new experience as an opportunity to learn and develop new skills in yourself to achieve a variety of goals. Learn from your mistakes, charting the path to further self-development. This is the best investment you can make for your future.