Do you often look people in the eye? Are they for you? The look can be eloquent: attentive, warm, evaluating, empty, aggressive. Eye contact gives a lot of information about the mood and intentions of the interlocutor. How to learn to read it?
Do you want to understand the intricacies of interpersonal interaction, understand how people influence each other, and learn how to build trusting relationships? Think about how you look at those around you. A look can be attractive or destructive. The eyes say more than we think, they reflect emotions and doubts.
Eye contact is an integral part of non-verbal communication. By learning more about it, you will be able to better control behavior, use some techniques. According to Forbes, a long and staring look is regarded as a sign of tactlessness, hostility and arrogance in business negotiations. It reads an attempt to take over or intimidate. If you achieve this, continue in the same spirit, if not, stop.
We look away when we are ashamed, embarrassed or worried
At the same time, you should not look away, it seems that the interlocutor is worried, not ready for a conversation and unreliable. If you have to choose one of the two, holding your eyes for a long time is better than not looking up. This is important not only in business communication. According to a study of patient reviews at a public hospital, 90% of participants wrote that doctors hardly make eye contact, which means that they do not care about patient complaints.
Moderation in the exchange of views speaks of mutual trust and sympathy. Much depends on the situation. It is more important for the listener to hold the eye than for the speaker. There is a rule: look carefully at the one who is talking, and occasionally glance when you are talking yourself.
It is believed that in normal communication, the minimum duration of eye contact is 30% of the time, and the maximum is 60%. If people hide their eyes, something is wrong with them. Most often, we look away when we are ashamed, embarrassed, or very worried. On the other hand, they tend to look for a long time at those whom we admire, to whom we are obliged and ready to obey. In a tense conversation, people drill each other’s eyes.
The habit of judging by first impressions or jumping to conclusions about relationships in a couple you barely know is based on visual perception. Vision plays a major role in assessing others. The power of the gaze works even in pictures. Experts at Cornell University conducted an experiment: they directed the gaze of a rabbit on boxes of Trix cereal directly to the buyer and placed them among the company’s usual packages. Most chose the packaging that stared at them.
A smile and pleasant thoughts always change the expression of the eyes.
The female gaze is more expressive than the male. Women often look at interlocutors and prefer to talk face to face, men usually sit side by side to each other. In the elevator, transport and other tight places, we try to avoid eye contact, look at phones or at doors. So we try to cope with the discomfort that the invasion of personal space causes.
It is easy to establish good contact if you alternate the sequence: look at the interlocutor for 4-7 seconds and look away for a moment. It is natural for the speaker to look away to formulate the next thought. You have to hold your eyes when you want to convey something important.
A smile and pleasant thoughts always change the expression of the eyes. The pupils dilate slightly, the look becomes warm and open, and people perceive you differently. When you listen, look at the other person and try to make the look meaningful, because empty eyes are frightening. Finally, the rule: the duration of eye contact between people should be such that no one is embarrassed.
Source: rebelcircus.com