They like to be in the company, but are not averse to sitting at home with a book in the evening. They do not like to be in the center of attention for a long time, but they can readily support small talk. They are ambiverts. And perhaps there are not so few of them among us …
Most psychological tests for introversion and extraversion do not so much help us understand ourselves as they offer us to take one of two sides. Even if, when answering questions, we constantly fluctuated from one side to the other, as a result we will still be ranked either one or the other.
If we were classified as the first, it’s understandable, we are lovers of fun, outdoor activities, risk and a quick change of activity. If the second – we simply have to be careful, self-sufficient and hardworking silent people. But what if our sense of self does not fit into any of these stereotypical images?
In this case, we can rather be attributed to ambiverts (from the Latin ambi – “on both sides”) – people in whom, to one degree or another, features of both types are present. Or rather, which can manifest themselves differently depending on the situation and environment.
middle way
What allows us to call one person an extrovert and another an introvert? Psychologist Marty Laney believes that the main difference is in the way we replenish energy. Extroverts are fueled by socializing with other people and new experiences, while introverts need peace, quiet, and solitude to recover. But in fact, this division is very conditional, and many of us, to one degree or another, need both.
Even Carl Gustav Jung himself, the author of the concepts of “extrovert” and “introvert”, implied an intermediate position between them.
In The Benefits of Introverts, Laney suggests speaking of extroversion and introversion as two ends of a single energy continuum. If we compare it to a color temperature scale, where extreme introversion corresponds to blue, and extraversion to red, somewhere in the middle, among the shades of yellow and green, are those who can be called ambiverts.
Carl Gustav Jung himself, the author of the concepts of “extrovert” and “introvert”, implied an intermediate position between them. A person who belongs to this position “is influenced both from the outside and from the inside. It forms part of a large middle group, on one side of which are placed those whose motivations are determined mainly by an external object, and on the other those whose motivations are formed from within. In addition, Jung believed that extreme attitudes are somewhat smoothed out as we adapt to the demands of society.
Ideal Sellers
The rhythm of the modern world favors extroverts. At least we used to think so. Books on motivation and success stories most often cite the fate of open, daring and charismatic leaders like Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple. However, expansive behavior does not always play into the hands of such people.
Psychologist Daniel Pink, in his latest book Selling Comes Natural to Us, provides data from a survey of European and American buyers. Among the most annoying traits in the behavior of sellers, most of them called excessive persistence, annoying and assertiveness.
Psychologist Adam Grant, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania, found that in sales, highly extroverts (as well as their antipodes) on average show an average level of achievement. Grant tested salespeople at a software company by assigning them scores on an extraversion-introversion scale (from 1 to 7, where 1 is strong introverts and 7 is strong extroverts), and then tracked their progress for 3 months. Introverts fared worse than others, earning an average of $120 an hour. But extroverts were only marginally higher at $125 an hour. Those who scored between 3 and 5 on the test performed best, earning $155 an hour.
Ambiverts are more likely to succeed due to the ability to relate their actions to other people and the context in which they are located.
According to Grant, the key to their success is “the ability to access different behavioral models” to find a balance between the desire to sell a product and the desire to help the buyer make his own choice. This description is very close to the concept of “attunement”, which Daniel Pink described as “the ability to relate your actions and plans with other people and with the context in which you find yourself.” Pink believes that it is attunement that allows us to effectively communicate our ideas to others and – ultimately – convince them to believe in us.
The Art of Balance
So, it seems that ambiverts are in demand where flexibility and the ability to find an approach to people are needed. Their key characteristic is the desire to find a balance between stimulation from within and from without. The main thing for them is not the quantity, but the quality of social ties. And this is precisely their strongest point.
“It seems to me that we care too much about how to draw more people into our“ networks ”, says psychologist Susan Cain. “But even a relatively small network of strong contacts can sometimes be more useful than the largest file cabinet.” The main thing for ambiverts, in her opinion, is to realize the limit of their capabilities and not try to ignore their need to recharge.
“If you consistently show extraversion in your interactions with others, they start expecting you to act like this at any time,” Kane continues. “Ambiversion is a great gift. It’s important to know what pace of functioning works best for you and to structure your life as an alternation between periods of activity and recovery in a calm environment. When communicating with other people, one should not be afraid to set boundaries. You can say, for example: “I need to concentrate and be alone right now, but I’d love to see you for breakfast and continue the conversation.”