PSYchology

Each of us has experience of failures (or “incomplete” successes, which also sometimes unsettles). And although an unpleasant event was in the past, it can affect us in the present as a confirmation that now we again will not be able to cope with some business, we again will not have enough time, strength or meaning. To «neutralize» this memory, it must be rewritten in your imagination.

  1. Recall a situation when you failed to achieve a goal (or something unexpected happened) because you didn’t do something on time. For example, “we flooded the neighbors because I was taking a long time to repair the pipe.”
  2. State where and when it happened. «Home, last week.»
  3. Who participated in this event? «Neighbours, my wife and emergency workers.»
  4. What did you and others do? Briefly describe this experience. “There was a strong quarrel with the neighbors, besides, we were without water for two days.”
  5. Rate this experience on a scale of minus 10 to 10. «Minus 10».
  6. What part of this experience is most undesirable for you? «My irresponsibility and frivolity.» And now the actual processing of negative experience begins.
  7. What would you now change in this situation so that the result would be the most acceptable for you? “A month ago, it was necessary to call the masters and change the pipe.”
  8. Present and describe this altered experience in the present tense. “I come home from work. Everything is fine at home, I am calm, knowing that I have taken the necessary measures.
  9. Rate this experience on a scale of minus 10 to 10. Plus 6.

If the first time you fail to achieve 10 points, you need to go back to point 7 and “improve” the situation until we can evaluate it to the maximum. For example, such an “upgrade” in our example as “Daughter came to visit” can give the desired ten. What is the meaning of such a mental game? When we turn on fantasy and “rewrite” an unpleasant event, the areas of the brain responsible for creativity are activated, alternative options open up to us that we have not seen before and which, most likely, would not lead us to such a situation. Our attitude towards the unpleasant episode changes, becomes less emotionally charged, and past experiences no longer influence our actions in the present.

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