Contents
Expect nothing to have it all, or how to enjoy the holidays without disappointment
Psychology
The summer season is usually idealized to the extreme, giving rise to a disappointment that is difficult to manage
Oh, the summer! When the days intermingle with each other and we show the arms and legs tanned and shiny. Summer loves, sunsets on the beach, freckles that grow from the nose and last until the last days of October. The luminous skies that evoke us when we are happy. Either that’s what they do to us (or make us believe). Because, oh, the summer! When it is so hot that you can hardly think, you spend endless days in front of an uncomfortable fan and you do not stop seeing photos on social networks of the paradises where people spend hot days, while you cook in the city working.
There are few things we idealize more than summer; everything invites us to do so: vacations, good weather, spending time with our family and friends. But when push comes to shove, we almost always come to fall disappointed, as our expectations have not been met. What are expectations? This is the question posed by Raquel Artuch, professor of the master’s degree in Psychopedagogy at UNIR and an expert in resilience. The teacher explains that an expectation is what we expect from something, and in the case of summer, we almost always sin and form them. “If I have been lucky, and I have spent very pleasant summers past, these experiences will make us form certain illusions about what is to come,” he says. Also, it speaks of desire, of what we want, something that we form through the information we receive from the outside. “Movies and series, books, even television commercials, often show us versions, in this case of summer and holidays, which are just that, fiction,” says the teacher.
The imperative to “enjoy”
The psychologist Sara Prieto, from Centro TAP, adds that, with the current importance of social networks, this idealized vision of summer and what “should” enjoy. “This occurs with almost any concept related to well-being (love, friendship or family), since the media, in general, usually only show the friendly side of that concept but not the rest of the elements that compose it and its complexity”, the psychologist points out.
Summer is the time of year when we generally project the most expectations. Sara Prieto comments that this usually happens since it is the period in which, normally, we have vacations and we can rest more and do things a little differently. «In the summer sometimes there is a struggle between what we want and what happens; that’s where frustration is born. And we forget that we can spend a very pleasant vacation without going anywhere, enjoying what is close to us “, adds Raquel Artuch who explains that we have to work to avoid these often impossible expectations:” We must adjust what we we look forward to what we can do so that we can relax and enjoy ourselves.
Expect nothing to have it all
If, even knowing it, we have not been able to avoid creating these summer longings, since, says the psychologist Sara Prieto, it is “inevitable that a series of expectations are formed in our head of what we expect from the summer”, we must also know how to manage the later disappointment. “On the one hand, it is important to try to cross out all the elements that a “good summer” is supposed to have and focus on the present to allow us to truly enjoy ourselves “, explains the psychologist, who on the other hand, recommends asking ourselves if this list of activities or characteristics (expectations) are realistic and if they fit our tastes, personality and needs. “Properly adjusting what is expected, always leaving a part to chance or mystery of what may happen to us, will be the most interesting ingredients so that we can enjoy the summer,” he concludes.
Summer loves
They sing it to us in songs, they tell us about it in movies … there are few things more “romanticized” than the idyllic summer loves. They take us back to adolescence, to have no ties and do a little “crazy” for a few months without having to face the consequences afterwards. “This concept takes us back to the memory of the summers of our childhood and adolescence where on many occasions the first loves occur” explains the psychologist of the TAP Center, Sara Prieto.
But, this is not the case only with teenagers, because sometimes, even though we are already in adulthood, we still want a summer love. “The fact of being on vacation in a foreign place can generate a feeling of freedom, since nobody knows us and we can be whoever we want,” he points out, and continues to report that, in many cases, people give themselves permission to do and discover facets of your personality that for various reasons are not so present in your daily life. «This increases people’s well-being and coincides with the establishment of these summer links», Says Prieto.