Take stock and tell yourself that this life no longer suits us … Feeling depressed or on the contrary wanting to change everything in a burst of euphoria. This is called the existential crisis. Can we overcome it without suffering? Does she always arrive in the middle of life? How to get out of it? Pierre-Yves Brissiaud, psychopractor, enlightens us on the subject.

The existential crisis does not happen overnight. It sets in gradually and signs should alert:

• A general malaise.
• All-round questions. “Everything goes there: work, the couple, family life”, says Pierre-Yves Brissiaud.
• Symptoms similar to those of depression: great fatigue, loss of appetite, irritability, hyperemotivity …
• A denial of his own ill-being. “We try to normalize this feeling by making excuses, especially by blaming others. We tell ourselves that the problem does not come from oneself but from colleagues, the media, spouse, family, etc. ”, details the psychopractor.

The existential crisis can be likened to a burn-out because of its symptoms. “The two are concomitant, it is not easy to distinguish them. It is the story of the egg or the hen. Which one came first? Burnout took hold, then triggered the existential crisis, or the reverse? ”, asks the specialist.

For other people, the existential crisis does not manifest itself in the same way. Failing to be depressed, they start a real revolution in their life by changing their habits. “They go out, transgress, regress as if to relive the sensations of adolescence. It is the caricatural image often given to the existential crisis in films, but it is very real ”, notes Pierre-Yves Brissiaud. Behind this mini-revolution lies in fact a deep malaise that one refuses to face. “Unlike depressed people who try to ask questions about their discomfort, they refuse to give meaning to this phase of madness”.

The existential crisis most often occurs around the age of 50. It is also called the midlife crisis. According to Jung, at this age our need for change may be related to the process of individuation. This moment when the individual is finally realized, considers that it is complete because he has become aware of what constitutes his inner core. The process of individuation requires introspection, that is, looking within yourself. “This is where the great existential questions arise like ‘Have I made the right choices in my life?’, ‘Have my choices been influenced’, ‘Have I always been free’ ”, lists the psychopractor.

In recent years, we have heard more and more about existential crisis at other times of life. Does the XNUMX-something crisis or the midlife crisis speak to you? “Our society is changing. Some landmarks and rites of passage have been shaken. The problem is that we didn’t have time to put in place new rituals. Existential questions can arise earlier today for different reasons: the nuclear family is no longer the only family model, couples separate more easily, teenagers stay teenagers longer… ”, observes Pierre-Yves Brissiaud.

So, at the dawn of their 30s, some people feel like it’s time for them to finally become adults. And they experience it as a constraint because they are nostalgic for the carelessness of their twenties. As if they wanted to prolong their adolescence as long as possible. Singles fear the idea of ​​not finding someone to share their life with, people in a couple no longer idealize the couple, the business world disappoints or frightens, the material constraints multiply …

The midlife crisis is, like the midlife crisis, a midlife crisis. If it occurs so early, it is because an event may have anticipated it. Like for example a divorce, the arrival of a child or the loss of a job.

The existential crisis cannot be lived without suffering. It is this that allows us to move forward and overcome the crisis. “Suffering forces us to question ourselves, it is necessary”, insists the specialist. Getting out of the crisis requires work on yourself. We first start by taking stock and see what no longer suits us, then we ask ourselves what we need to be happy. This introspection can be done alone or with the help of a therapist. 

For Pierre-Yves Brissiaud, it is important, as a psychopractor, to value the crisis. “The existential crisis does not happen by chance, it is useful for the person who is going through it. After making the diagnosis, I help my patients go inside themselves. It is a more or less long job, it depends on the people. But this is generally not an easy exercise because we live in an outward looking society in which we are asked to Do but not to Be. Man no longer has ideals. However, the existential crisis requires us to go back to basics, to give back or finally give meaning to our life ”. Since existential crisis is a disagreement between what we are asked to be and who we really are, the goal of therapy is to help people find harmony with their inner self.

Each individual is different, so each existential crisis is different. But it seems that some profiles are more likely to go through this phase. For Pierre-Yves Brissiaud, people said to be “good in every way” and very loyal people are at risk. In a way, they are good students who have always done everything well and who have always met the expectations of others. They never learned to say no and express their needs. Except that after a while, it explodes. “Not expressing your needs is the first violence you inflict on yourself”, warns the psychopractor.