Exercise «Remove Netki»

We remove Netki — the first, preparatory step on the way to Total YES.

How useful is this exercise? We make speech more conscious, constructive and beautiful, excluding “garbage” “no” and “not” from it, we do not say empty negatives at the beginning of a sentence.

From a simple “No, I don’t agree!” to “No, I get it…” and “No, I agree.”

It would seem that this is not the most urgent task, however, a person who has mastered this exercise begins to speak more consciously, begins to hear what he says … — a quality, unfortunately, is quite rare. For those who have mastered the “We Remove Netki” exercise, it is already easier to clear their speech of any other garbage, it is easier to remove conflictogens, avoid unnecessary disputes and agree with what our interlocutor says is reasonable.

First, we remove external Nets, and first of all, empty ones that do not carry information, garbage No. Most often it is «No» at the beginning of a phrase («No, listen,» «No, I understand,» «No, you’re right»). Purifying our speech from external junk no-ok, we solve two problems at the same time: we make our speech cleaner and increase our own awareness: we begin to hear what and how we say.

When our speech is cleared of garbage no-ok, it’s time to clean up external semantic No. This is not about starting to mindlessly agree, the task is different: to find a successful form for your denials, to formulate your objection in a more positive (or constructive) form.

— Will you have small money? — Only the big ones.

— Do you get off at the next stop? — I’ll let you through.

Or at home:

— Would you like soup?

Thanks, I’m full.

— Can you still eat?

— We will definitely eat, just later.

— Go now while it’s hot.

— (it means that you still need to come up. They came up and tried it.) Yes, it’s delicious. I’ll warm it up later, while I need to work up an appetite …

Note: When the exercise «Removing No-ki» becomes easy for you, when you can easily do without No-ok at all, you, as a master, can regain the right to say «No» anywhere and anytime. Everything is possible for a master, because he does everything consciously.

According to my observations, the exercise is best done in several stages.

Stage 1. Passive attention

Notice other people negation, junk words. It works well in the “Caught!” game mode, when you hear “no, no, no” from other people and you think to yourself: “Well, I will soon be the coolest in this regard, I won’t be able to find fault with myself!”

Stage 2. Passive vigilance