Exercise: If I loved

“If I loved” is a background exercise, one of the Distance exercises and a necessary condition for a successful life.

A more relaxed version of this exercise is Days of Caring.

The goal of the exercise is to live like a loving person. Love is a reflection of personality, and in order for love to always live in the soul, one must accustom oneself to live with it always. Raise yourself — loving.

A person either knows how to be loving, or not. If he teaches himself to notice love in many manifestations, to cherish it, to give, then he loves many things and many — parents, children, friends, all living things, treats everything like a human being. If there is little love in him, then he loves little or briefly. Whatever «amazing object» he encounters, his love will flare up — and quickly pass. Do not expect love from someone who has not taught himself to love. Take a closer look: how much love a woman has for herself, for children, even for kittens — how much love she has in general, so much love will be given to her husband. With men — the same.

Where to begin? What to do now if you want to be more loving?

First, think and answer: If you loved yourself, people, deeds, things — how would you feel? How would you behave, how would you look at the world, react, relate? What goals would you set? What would you strive for? For what, for whom would they master new skills?

Start small: with a few repetitions of 5-10 minutes. Better — in the subway or in another public place. When you ride the subway (go to the store), you imagine that all the people in the store are either your friends, or relatives, or close people. You behave on the basis of this thought: what would you do then?

How would you react to the mistakes of your wife (your husband) if you were in love? How many times a day would you remember your loved ones if you loved them? Who would you send a warm text message to today? What would you help with, what would you talk about, what could you forgive? If you loved?

Men, learn to love your mother! By learning this, you can truly, for a long time, love your wife. Girls, learn to love (and obey) your father — this will help you love your husband.

The volume of the planned result:

1. I can treat any person as a native, benevolently and with love. I have warm eyes and intonation.

2. I treat myself (body, soul, healthy desires) as an object/tool ​​that is dear to me, with the help of which I need to achieve the main goal(s) of my life.

How will I work:

5-10 minutes 1 time per day (the next week passes in ascending order). In a public place: subway, in a store, etc., I imagine that all the people in the store are my friends, relatives or close people. I’m going with this idea:

• I am addressing a seller or a passer-by from the position of a loved one, i.e. every time I am going to communicate with another person, I first ask myself the question: “And if I loved this person, what would I do or say then?” — and I do just that. I look, I talk to her or him with affection and care. I accept feedback from people with gratitude for the care addressed to me.
• If I have already done something or said something not very kind, I ask myself the same question again. Then I redo what has already happened, either in reality or in my thoughts, if “the train has already left completely.”
• 2 times a day. In relations with people whom I seem to love anyway, you can ask like this: “if I REALLY LOVE him, what would I do?”. Would I then do what my loved one wants or would I do it again in my own way?
• 2 times a day. I take into account both types of love: maternal and paternal. Where necessary, I apply affectionate, gentle support and care. Where necessary, I apply fatherly love — I insist on common sense, and I am not led by blind egoistic love for loved ones or for myself. I remember at the same time that I understand love as a disinterested joyful concern for people.

Exercise «If I loved»:

• Develops Angel’s Stance: gives almost absolute invulnerability combined with powerful strength.
• It teaches responsibility, makes responsibility easy: it is easy and pleasant to answer for relatives and loved ones.
• It teaches smart and joyful caring: it becomes natural to think about others, to take care of them.
• Works for a positive worldview — makes every day warm, filled with joy and love.