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Around the topic of teenage sexting, controversy does not subside. Intimate correspondence using photos today has replaced the games of emancipation — «bottle», «kiss-scat-meow» and others. Teenagers themselves do not always realize what their «fun» can turn into. Psychologist Galina Soldatova talks about what rules should be followed to avoid danger.
The Internet environment encourages teenagers to be interested in talking about sexual topics. It is much easier to overcome self-doubt and embarrassment on the Web, so it is not surprising that some teenagers prefer to meet and communicate there. At some point, the correspondence can become very frank — and then we are talking about sexting. The word “sexting” (from the English sex and texting) means communication on the topic of sex via a mobile phone or via the Internet. Participants in the correspondence can discuss sexual fantasies, send each other stories (fan fiction) on the topic of sex, take pictures of naked parts of their bodies and share with each other.
There is nothing wrong with teenagers sharing their thoughts about sex with friends, discussing their experiences and feelings. But online correspondence has its own characteristics. The Internet is not a room where you can hang windows, but close the door with a key. Traces of our stay, whether it be personal correspondence or exchange of photos, remain in it forever. In real life, friends talked about sex and forgot, but the Network remembers everything! No one knows when and how this information could be used against a teenager, when applying to a university, when applying for a job, or in a future political career.
- How to talk to teens about intimacy
Talking about sex with strangers on social media can be dangerous. But what if there is an adult with impure intentions on the other side of the screen? Communicating «in private», an unknown person can gain confidence in the child, trying to find out personal information and arrange a meeting. And if we consider that our children, unlike their European peers, for the most part do not tell anyone about what they have encountered on the Web, then the risk of being defenseless against criminals increases even more. Even if the situation did not unfold so dangerously, the experience of encountering pornography and obscenity in itself can seriously affect the psyche of a teenager.
What advice should parents follow?
Encourage your teen to talk about what worries them
Teenagers who have experienced sexting are usually left alone with this situation: most of them do nothing and do not tell either their parents or friends. They are waiting for everything to resolve itself. Encourage your teen to ask you about things they’re not sure about, and to tell you immediately if they find it strange, worry or worry.
Chat with your teen offline
Maintain confidential communication. Be aware of his interests and problems, help in resolving difficulties in real life. Your child should have favorite hobbies in addition to the Internet, live communication with an adult who is ready to discuss with him a variety of problems, including personal, intimate ones.
Be an example
You should not store on those devices to which children have access, information of an erotic and pornographic nature, explicit photos, videos, details of family life; discuss them with the child. But do not avoid discussing the topic of sex. It is better if the child gets an idea about sexual relations in the family. Otherwise, he will want to get it himself — from other (not the most reliable) sources.
Teach your teen how to handle personal information
Young people need to understand that even keeping sexually explicit photographs of minors on their computer is against the law. Having received such an image, it is necessary to erase it and never distribute it. It is important to understand that any information that we post on the Internet or transmit in a message is immediately beyond our control and can be distributed anywhere and to anyone.
Use technology and the Internet to prevent sexting
Parental controls or other blocking, filtering, and monitoring tools can help keep your child safe from unwanted experiences. But remember: as soon as a child enters adolescence, his computer and Internet skills grow, technical limitations will not keep his curiosity. With a strong desire, teenagers will be able to find any information by bypassing parental controls or using the Internet from friends and acquaintances.