Exacerbation of the impostor syndrome at the end of the year. What to do?

Imposter Syndrome – A Path to Burnout

At first glance, it seems that impostor syndrome and burnout are things that are not related to each other. In fact, we spend a huge amount of energy trying to come to an agreement with ourselves. We get tired of internal monologues about what we have achieved and what we can still do. 

By the end of the year, the situation escalates: everyone around is summing up – the social network feed is full of them – and we willy-nilly observe someone else’s success in a concentrated form, and at the same time we ask ourselves the same question: what did I succeed? And even if we have an answer, against the general background, it may seem that nothing remarkable has been done.

Here are some examples from the lives of our readers: 

“Masha has a new apartment in a year, a coach certificate, a car purchase, and she also opened her own business, managed to travel to seven countries (and this is a pandemic!) And give birth to a child. What do I have?

As a result, we lose confidence in ourselves and feel apathy, sadness, tension. This reduces the motivation to move on and destroys faith in one’s own success. 

What to do?

Techniques that work

To cope with burnout and impostor syndrome and save a lot of energy, you can do the following exercises.

1. Write down your real achievements. Even small

Do not rely on examples from social networks, where against the backdrop of buying apartments and earning millions, any achievements may seem insignificant. This is not true. 

Write down what you think is important. Have you learned to cope with the desire to eat sweets at night looking? Write it down. This is also a victory. 

When we focus on such experiences, we “fertilize” our self-confidence and strengthen our belief that we can do even more. And we begin to feel our power.

2. Consider what self-confidence means to you

If impostor syndrome is a state in which we are afraid to talk about ourselves, then confidence backfires. But remember: everyone has their own confidence.

For example, one person considers the ability to go live on Instagram and talk about themselves without trembling like an aspen leaf a sign of confidence, another – to wear a bold outfit, a third – to talk to strangers. 

Write down your points and see which of them is easiest for you to start implementing, at least partially. And then act! If wearing a bold outfit is too much for you, then include at least one new piece of clothing in your wardrobe. If talking to strangers causes a lot of stress, then wish a good day to a familiar seller in a store – you can do it. Start small and expand your horizons. 

And most importantly – fix your victories and your condition. Assess how scary the new experience seemed to you and how it really was. You realize that most things are easier to do than you think. This will help you become bolder – gradually, step by step.

3. Focus on what you can control

Often we fix our attention on things that are beyond our control: on the opinions of other people, circumstances, everyday situations, world news. Shift your focus to events that you can influence. 

For example, you should not think about whether the audience will like you if you go on air. Focus on preparation, have a dress rehearsal – these are areas under your control. You will see the result yourself. 

4. Compare yourself to yourself

An important feature of the impostor syndrome is that we constantly underestimate our own strengths and praise other people’s talents too much. At the same time, we usually choose from colleagues that skill or character trait that we simply do not have, that is, we unfairly judge ourselves against the background of someone else’s “superpower”.

It is important to stop comparing yourself to others. Feeling like an impostor, we cannot remain objective, and the comparison invariably turns out to be against us. Remember what happened to you last year, and then what has changed.

5. Look at your achievements in terms of life balance

The world around us offers us guidelines in the form of financial success. But there are many other facets of life. Rate what you could do to:

• relationships with yourself and people

• career,

• personal growth and mental health,

• your health,

• hobbies, hobbies,

• self-realization.

See life as a big project with different directions. We are not only money. Define your values. 

6. Keep in mind that the voice from the outside is just one point of view

If you are afraid of criticism, think: what other points of view can there be in this world? For example, you feel like you are being judged by more expert co-workers. Imagine their opposite – a teacher who understands that a person can be at the stage of growth, and does not criticize him for this.

Always remember that the world is a lot of different people and different points of view. This is what makes him beautiful.

7. If you face criticism, ask yourself the question: “Would I go to study with this person?”

We react sharply to comments on social networks, but if you look, then 99% of them are worth nothing. Ask yourself: what kind of person gave you his opinion? What is his authority for you? Would you go to study with him? If not, you should not attach importance to his words. 

Practice self-compassion

Well, with what nurtures the impostor syndrome “from the outside” in us, we figured it out. But what if you constantly judge your actions on your own? 

Practice self-compassion—the ability to feel sorry for and accept yourself, and treat yourself kindly.

Here is a simple exercise that can help you change your habitual pattern of behavior from self-judgment to self-compassion.

1. Think about what you are trying to motivate yourself with through self-criticism. Do you have features that you criticize yourself for (for example, a tendency to become discouraged, lazy, overweight)? Try to feel all the pain that self-criticism causes.

2. Find a gentler way to push yourself to change. What would a wise, caring friend, parent, teacher, or mentor say to you to encourage you to do things differently? What words would most support you?

3. Every time you catch yourself in self-condemnation, remember these remarks and mentally pronounce them.

Imposter syndrome is a tricky thing. Because of him, we think that we will now be exposed and everyone will know that we are not really coping and good for nothing. But it’s not. There are millions of us impostors. And we’re all right. While you’re asking yourself, “Who am I to do this?” You are not realizing yourself. It’s time to get rid of the blocks that prevent you from taking the next step.