Women are increasingly striving to give birth with their husbands – it is important for them that the future father takes an active part in the process of the birth of their common child. In addition, the presence of a loved one reassures – you know that you will not only be supported, but also protected. What do men think about it?
Although partner births are gaining popularity, there is no consensus in society about how positive this phenomenon is. While someone believes that it unites the family, others, on the contrary, assure that after such an experience, coldness and alienation sets in between the spouses – after all, not every husband’s psyche can withstand such a spectacle.
We share the opinion of men who have gone through all the difficult moments with their wives.
Mikhail, 40 years old
When my wife Yulia was pregnant with our first child, our son, she directly asked if I would go to give birth with her. Her main motivation was that she was very afraid. Julia had no idea how this process looks in real life, and not in films, she needed a close person nearby.
I agreed without hesitation. I wanted to give my wife support, I’m not afraid of blood – unlike a considerable number of other men who, just a little, are ready to faint.
Contractions started a week early. From that moment I was with her. He held his hand in prenatal, warned about each new contraction, following the device. My friend, who also helped his wife in childbirth, for example, stopped there. But I decided to go further. We went on a gurney to give birth.
Of course, the main midwife, the doctor, his assistants were with us … But they are strangers
And I saw how happy it was for Yulia that she had a dear person with her, who sincerely empathized, held her hand and wiped the sweat from her face. I saw the baby’s head appear. How could his wife not push him out. How did the doctors help her? And this moment … The child seemed to have passed through a portal from a cozy little world created by his mother to our world.
The midwife put him on a sheet. He was like a toy. They laid him on a side and cut off the umbilical cord. And so, lying on his side, he opened his eye. First one. And looked… Looked at me. The first person he saw in this world was not a mother, not a midwife or a doctor. It was me. I remember this moment forever.
Alexander, 36 years old
Since ancient times, it was believed that the husband is the head of the family, her support and protection, and therefore he simply must be next to his wife when she gives birth. It used to be believed that during this process, the gates between the worlds of the living and the dead are opened. And the duty of a man was to protect his own and prevent otherworldly forces from intervening and taking the woman and child to him.
I was also present at the birth of both of our children. Moreover, at the birth of my second child, they even entrusted me to cut the umbilical cord. These are unforgettable feelings when you take your newly born child in your arms and hear its first cry. I think everyone should feel it.
Alexey, 30 years old
I didn’t plan to participate in a partner birth. It just so happened that the hospitals were overloaded, the staff did not have time to pay due attention to all women in labor. My wife would hardly have been able to insist on her own in such a state. They didn’t let me into the hospital. So I had to arrange a partner birth – in order to be able to be inside the hospital.
Before giving birth, I sat in the ward and resolved issues with the doctors. When it came to an end, he ran for the obstetricians and went out into the corridor. I think it’s superfluous to look at childbirth. After giving birth, I went into the ward.
In general, I liked this format. You can fully control childbirth, have access to doctors, and also have the opportunity to see the baby immediately, rather than waiting for several days.
Vladislav, 43 years old
We gave birth to our child in Canada, where partner births are absolutely natural. Honestly, it was psychologically difficult for me to see how my wife gives birth: screams, pain of a loved one, whom you can hardly help in any way. After you see what kind of torment she had to go through, you look at a woman in a completely different way.
But what delights even more: she is ready to experience the same suffering again – all for the birth of a new child!
My wife was extremely happy that I was with her. True, during the birth itself, I learned a lot of interesting things about myself! And not only me, the doctors also got it, it’s lucky that they don’t understand Russian. The feeling of the first cry of a child is simply indescribable.
I also want to note that all the troubles of childbirth are quickly forgotten. It didn’t affect my sex life with my wife at all. Perhaps only for the better – our relationship has become much deeper.