Someone hides his head in the sand, someone fights with troubles and takes responsibility for what is happening. How do you deal with difficulties? The answer to this question can shed light on what is going on in your life.
“I know something about you. No matter who you are or what you do, the following phrase will surely apply to you: «You have problems.» The question is how do you deal with them. The answer is the key to almost every area of your life.
I have just returned from vacation. Last night we had dinner in a crowded restaurant. I myself once, back in college, worked in the kitchen in the university cafeteria. My wife has been a waitress for ten years and her father runs a restaurant. In such establishments we show maximum patience and understanding. We sat down at a table and waited for the waiter. Time passed, but he still did not fit. Everyone around was served, but not us. Finally, the waiter took our order and disappeared.
We waited for dishes for half an hour, an hour. Perhaps he forgot to transfer the order to the kitchen or mixed something up? Well, it would be easy to find out if he appeared on the horizon. He must have been ashamed of being in front of us, or scared. Or both. In the end, we waited for the order and even received a discount, but the sediment remained. If he did not avoid us, but honestly admitted that he had made a mistake, it would be easier for everyone, both for him and for us.
Two Strategies for Problem Solving
Why am I talking about this? In addition, this story is a perfect example of the strategy that some people choose when faced with a problem. There are only two of them: avoid or turn on and try to fix everything.
Avoidance seems to be an easier way, but it does not solve the global problem. Moreover: often the difficulties that we ignore grow like a snowball. Thoughts of credit card debt make us feel bad, but if we avoid them all the time, we’ll have to deal with interest and penalties. We are saddened by the number on the scales, and we try not to think about it. Relationships, careers, life in general leave much to be desired, but out of habit we hide our heads in the sand.
By engaging in problem solving, we face stress and gain emotional muscle.
For the time being, this helps: closing our eyes to the problem, we avoid discomfort and unpleasant feelings. But when we open our eyes, we inevitably find that things have gotten worse. So it’s better to face the problem right away and say to yourself: “Okay, what happened happened. I am responsible for the situation and for making things right, no matter how unpleasant. As a result, I will either work things out, or I will know that I did everything I could.”
Your life is in your hands
When was the last time you took responsibility for your life? What about problems? Or are you looking for the guilty and trying to shift the responsibility for what is happening to you onto their shoulders? By getting involved in problem solving, we face stress and develop emotional muscles. This allows not only to successfully cope with tasks, but also to become more persistent and self-confident. We begin to truly take control of our lives. This is a lot.
Face to face with circumstances is scary. We feel vulnerable and fragile, but also free and strong. Difficulties are an integral part of life, and instead of worrying about them, we can not lose our presence of mind, calmly and responsibly deal with them.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s about making amends to the client or radically changing lives, the principle is the same: get involved in solving the problem. How can you do it today?”
About the Expert: Ayodeji Avosika is a blogger, TED speaker, and author of The Formula of Destiny and You 2.0.