A vague but persistent anxiety, a feeling that we are missing something, is an experience familiar to many. And from all sides we are offered a way to quench this thirst: new products, any services, travel … How not to get lost in the world of opportunities and find your true purpose? The only answer is awareness.
To many of us, talking about the meaning of life seems like a waste of time, like debating the topic “Is there life on Mars?”. Perhaps, existential searches are the destiny of philosophers alone?
In fact, the question of the meaning of life confronts all of us at different stages, it is simply formulated most often differently: who am I, what do I want, what is really dear and important to me, why do I not feel in my place, can I live differently.
“Usually we don’t think about it either in an extreme situation, when the task is one — to survive, or in serene, calm periods. Doubts in ourselves and in the world seize us at crisis moments of being, when there is a balance of well-being and trouble in life, ”says Stanislav Raevsky, a Jungian analyst.
And then it opens up to us that many of the values that we considered our own are imposed on us from the outside, by family, society — but what is really valuable for us?
Our anxiety is fruitful because it encourages us to seek answers to the main, semantic questions.
“There are many of us who feel that we have not received something, that we have become not quite who we are called to be, that we do not give all that we can give, and do not receive what we can take,” says the philosopher Reza Mogaddassi.
In his opinion, behind this frustration and dissatisfaction is our desire for the absolute, our refusal to succumb to the absurdity of mechanical life, devoid of the dimension of spirit. We experience longing, discontent, anxiety — and it is far from always clear to us that their causes lie in the existential plane.
We can turn to a psychologist, and he will help us become calmer. The coach will teach us the techniques to achieve success. But sooner or later, unresolved questions will again require an answer. From the point of view of depth psychology, these symptoms do not need to be removed: our anxiety is fruitful, because it prompts us to seek answers to the main, semantic questions.
“We ask clients: well, you will be able to increase sales, get married, start earning a lot … But why? What is the meaning of this for you? — says Stanislav Raevsky. “Thinking about this, a person moves to a different level of understanding himself, relationships, life.”
Overcome the illusion that everything is possible
The more temptations the modern world offers, the more difficult it is for us to understand the reasons for our dissatisfaction, says Reza Mogaddassi:
“If someone in our time feels that life is passing by, he thinks that the reason is that he should be in another place, doing something else, but at the same time he forgets about the main thing: about his own being. which is always with him, wherever he is.
Our sense of failure is tied to a useless theory of freedom that only confuses us, because it is usually understood as the maximum possibility of choice: I do what I want, when I want, with whom I want, where I want …
Modern man would like to have several lives or keep the infinity of choice.
However, to live means, whether we like it or not, to make decisions, to choose a path, to give up endless possibilities in order to explore one of them.
Modern man would like to have multiple lives or have unlimited choices, and as a result he feels overwhelmed because the choice he makes leads to the rejection of other paths.
It seems to him that he has locked himself in one possibility: he is nostalgic for the moment when everything was possible, or he continues to look back at other possibilities.
Where is the thread of Ariadne that will help us get out of this labyrinth of unrealized possibilities? To see it, you need to think: what does it mean to feel fulfilled?
“We can ask ourselves: at what moments in my life do I feel that it has meaning?”
“This means that I have fulfilled my destiny in the world,” says Stanislav Raevsky. — Everyone has it. We do not choose our destination, but it chooses us. If we find it, all life becomes illumined with meaning.
For example, if we think of Freud, it is obvious that his purpose was to invent psychoanalysis. And if we look at the life of an ordinary person, say, a nanny, then the meaning will open up in the role she played for the children she raised.
Thus, our destiny can only be revealed to us in the future. It is difficult for us to understand him today, especially for a young person. But we can feel it with the help of intuition: it leads us towards the destination. We can intuitively feel where to go, what book to buy, what person to talk to.”
Be in touch with yourself
The question of the meaning of life is inextricably linked with the question «Who am I?». Answering it, says Stanislav Raevsky, we abandon the social labels that created an illusory meaning for us, and come to the real meaning.
“For a start, we can ask ourselves: at what moments in my life do I feel that it has meaning? What do I do today that makes sense to me? And in a week? And for the past year? Pretty soon we will come to the conclusion that the meaning is revealed to us in what we love.
Moreover, the look of love fills the world with meaning for us. A sense of meaning is created by a life that gives more than it takes. And then we try to increase the number of meaningful moments and reduce the number of meaningless ones. Not to do anything, but to be in touch with what attracts us.”
Set aside periods of silence throughout the day, before and after each task or decision.
Reza Mogaddassi urges us to «stop worrying and give ourselves time to take a break to feel the difference between momentary desires that consume our entire attention and deeper desires.» What awes us, what inspires us, what frightens us, what brings satisfaction?
“The first thing to do is to set aside periods of silence during the day, before and after each business or decision, in order to reflect on these issues,” the philosopher believes. After all, it is they who help us pave a unique life path. In the search for meaning, we can also rely on the achievements of culture.
“Ancient Greeks, Romans, Eastern tradition: Confucianism, Buddhism, yoga… A person looking for answers will be attracted to some direction,” Stanislav Raevsky is sure. — It is not so important what exactly he chooses for himself: when we go up the path, it may seem to us that it is the only true one. But from the top of the mountain you can see that all paths lead to it.”
“The more conscious life becomes, the more fulfilling and spiritual it is”
It’s never too late to do this work. At any stage of life, there is an opportunity to correct something, discover a new driving force and come into alignment with your values.
“The more conscious life becomes,” says the Jungian analyst, “the more it is filled and spiritual, and this leads us to a higher level of awareness, and this is repeated on every turn. It’s a self-sustaining system.»
Of course, at times we can forget ourselves and re-enter an unconscious, mechanical existence. But once we get a taste of awareness, we want to come back to that state again and again.