Evening: 6 steps to a successful end of the day

So much has been said and written about morning rituals that help start the day right! But ending the day right is perhaps even more important, says science journalist Eric Barker.

To do this, we will have to cheat a little, outwit our brain. After all, he also cheats a little with us. As Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman, author of Think Slowly… Decide Fast, has shown¹, in each event, our brain really remembers only two moments: the emotional peak and the final. Or more precisely, what we felt when emotions (positive or negative) reached their peak, and how we felt when this experience ended. In this way, the brain summarizes our experience, and we rely on this summary, remembering how we felt then.

Knowing this rule of the “final peak” (this is approximately what Stirlitz said: “The last phrase is remembered”), try to structure your day in such a way that it is perceived as happy.

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1. Come up with a ritual to end the work day

So the work day is over. But your brain can not be disconnected from business tasks. To relax, you need to take it out of working mode. Create a permanent ritual for yourself that will signal to your hyperactive brain that the work is over. Tidy up your desktop. Save all data on your computer. Write a to-do list for tomorrow. It has been proven that making such plans helps to reduce anxiety and enjoy the rest.

Well, you are out of work mode. How about fun? Usually a weekday evening is not as pleasant as a weekend, right? It can be fixed.

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2. Turn a weeknight into a Saturday

To begin with, let’s ask ourselves: why do weekends bring us more joy than leisure hours on weekdays? According to scientific data, one of the main reasons is that during the weekend we have the opportunity to spend more time with friends and family. That’s why you shouldn’t spend hours on the couch when you come home from work. Dedicate a couple of hours to friends and family, and you will turn a dull Tuesday evening into a happy Saturday.

But it is clear that you cannot arrange a meeting every evening. What else can we do?

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3. Hobbies instead of TV

As the well-known psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi writes, “in most cases, people manage to enjoy their free time even worse than enjoying work”². We waste it, thoughtlessly, on some easy, effortless activities, instead of spending time interestingly. The reason is that free time, unlike work time, is not structured in any way. And we need, the psychologist notes, “to make great efforts to transform it into a formalized activity that can be enjoyed. Hobbies that require certain skills, diverse interests, and especially practices that promote internal discipline, all help to transform free time into what it is, in fact, it should be – into an opportunity for recreation.

In a word, in order to properly recover and at the same time enjoy your leisure hours, you will have to take up some kind of active hobby, acquire new knowledge and skills, and improve your skills.

Okay, so what happens when it’s time for bed? How to tune our brain to sleep? This also requires a ritual.

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4. Just collapsing into bed is not the best option, you need to get ready for sleep first

Dim the lights and turn off all computers, TVs, gadgets at least an hour before bedtime. According to University of Hertfordshire psychology professor and author Richard Wiseman, 10 minutes in front of a smartphone screen is the equivalent of an hour’s walk in bright sunshine – just as hard to fall asleep afterwards.

5. Record the good things of the day

Put a notebook and pen near the bed. Before you turn off the lights, each time write down three pleasant events of the past day and add a few words about why each of them happened. There are many studies that support the effectiveness of such recordings. The founder of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, who invented this technique, notes that at first it may seem strange for you to write about the reasons for the happy events in your life. But hold out for at least a week. Then it will be easier. After 6 months, you will see that this habit reduces the symptoms of depression and makes you more joyful.

The more you think about all kinds of joyful things, the happier you are. Sounds too simple, but it’s true. These self-reminders are very powerful.

Our brain can deceive us when it comes to happiness, but it can also be our ally. Sometimes our dreams are much more exciting than reality. How can we turn this to our advantage?

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6. Make a list of things you look forward to

Studies show that the anticipation of a joyful event can be even more pleasant than the event itself. People who take the time to enjoy the anticipation of future pleasure feel much happier.

Your brain is cheating – answer it the same way. You can trick him into feeling happy. Plan something nice for yourself tomorrow to create a peak of pleasant experiences. And end the day on a high note.

See more at Online editions of The Time.

¹ D. Kahneman “Think Slowly… Decide Fast” (AST, Neoclassic, 2013).

² M. Csikszentmihalyi “Flow. Psychology of optimal experience” (Alpina non-fiction, 2016).