Loss is an integral part of life. We lose from childhood to old age – things, friends, loved ones, parents. Any loss is hard, whether it’s the breaking of a favorite toy, the disappearance of an old friend, a divorce, or the death of a loved one. How to survive such a situation? Is there a universal recipe or does everyone follow their own path?
There is no single recipe for coping with loss. Rather, there is such a recipe – worry as much as you can bear, any methods are good. That is why there are so many of them: someone becomes isolated and depressed, someone starts drinking, someone switches to a new business, new people, new impressions, and someone runs.
And so, about flight as a way to survive a great tragedy, Dan Gemeinhart’s book “Coyote Sunrise. The Incredible School Bus Race1. A dad and his XNUMX-year-old daughter travel all over America on an old school bus, stop wherever they want, eat burgers, take their time and enjoy themselves.
The book, which begins as a gripping road trip, quickly becomes a drama in which father and daughter run from the pain that won’t let them go. And they’ve been running for five years.
Five years ago, when Coyote Sunrise was seven-year-old Ella, her mother and two sisters died in a car accident. And the girl’s life also ended at that moment. The father changed the names in the passports – became Rodeo, and she chose the name Coyote – sold the house, bought an old school bus, which became their home. Rodeo and Coyote are now living on their own, making no friends or becoming attached to anyone.
Coyote is very lonely and sensible beyond her years – just like Jeliza-Rose from Tideland, who also matured as a result of a similar tragedy. Everything starts to change at the moment when the Coyote picks up a little kitten at the next gas station – and this becomes the first step towards returning to ourselves.
The author managed to quite easily talk about very difficult things – about the experience of loss as an adult and a child. And we, in turn, decided to talk with a psychologist about how the methods used in the book are applicable in reality.
Svetlana Filyayeva, a child and family psychologist and fairy tale therapist, comments on this story in the following way: “As a result of reading the book, you receive important advice – you cannot run away from pain. Otherwise, you lose yourself, you lose what was. The moment Dad turned them into Coyote and Rodeo, unable to cope with too much pain, he killed both himself and his surviving child.
These new people begin to live according to a new philosophy: “What good is it to need something that you can lose.” And they go on a really exciting journey around America: every morning they now wake up in a new place, meet different animals at dawn, try new burgers and tacos, swim in beautiful secret places, tell each other fairy tales and read books. In general, they do everything that comes to mind, but do not talk about the main thing.
The tragedy is that only their shells are sent on this journey, they become ghosts of the road. This story is a metaphor. In real life, such a living of loss would be impossible: there are no such too understanding grandmothers who let go of a seven-year-old granddaughter with a crazy father, it is not clear where and how much.
But in book reality, this is a five-year journey to oneself through stages understandable in psychology: denial, anger, depression, acceptance. Five years later, something changes – and the images gradually take on colors, the characters return to reality. And it starts with the first constant companion and new member of the family – a little kitten Ivan.
Metaphorical and fellow travelers who suddenly began to rain down on travelers after a kitten appeared in their lives. Each of them illustrates their approach to solving the problem: someone gives the right advice, someone just knows how to listen, and someone can “live” with you a moment of despair and pain.
This is a great opportunity for teenagers to switch from their own self-centeredness to worrying about others.
Escape from pain in the book is very true. Father and daughter literally run so as not to get sick. But it is important just to get in touch with this pain in order to feel alive. They come to understand this when they return to the scene of the tragedy.
Another realistic point is Coyote’s attitude towards Rodeo: caring and trying to keep him from suffering. Treat like your own child. This really happens in life, when parents are looking for support and resources in the remaining child, not realizing that this cannot be done. That the remaining child has also lost – lost his mother and sisters – and he needs a loving father to cope with the loss.
And the child is either forced to grow up quickly and take care of the parent, or remains alone, because the father cannot distract himself from the tragedy and sees dead siblings in him, either suffering endlessly, or falling into a rage.
And, of course, if an adult cannot cope with the loss, it is necessary to turn to a psychologist – to help both the adult and the child support each other, and not change roles or, even worse, not become a new loss while still alive.
“Coyote Sunrise. The Incredible School Bus Race is a great opportunity for teenagers to switch from their own self-centeredness, from their thoughts and feelings to worrying about others, it definitely develops empathy through the constant conversations of heroes about love and how not to hurt another person.
This story can help the reader deal with grief. Because with a huge loss, it is worth using any methods, including book therapy, in which a literary work becomes an assistant, companion and resource.
1 Pink giraffe, 2020.
“Coyote Sunrise. The Incredible School Bus Race by Dan Gemeinhart
Coyote Sunrise is twelve years old and her home is a school bus. For five years they have been traveling around America with their dad and belong only to themselves. But suddenly it turns out that Coyote needs to keep the oath given once. And for this – urgently drive three and a half thousand miles. And drive so that dad does not even suspect where and why they are actually going. Is it possible to completely change your life in four days?! It seems that yes, if you really want to.