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Is it possible to be positive without being naive, to think constructively without harboring false illusions? Yes. “Enlightened” optimism exists, and it is based on self-confidence and the ability to enjoy life. This is a special type of thinking that can be learned.
“Everything is for the best in this best of all possible worlds”? The phrase of Voltaire’s Candide is really good, but today few people can sincerely share his convictions.
Television reports about military conflicts and economic upheavals, crime chronicles, environmental problems, intolerance that has become habitual – perhaps the world around us could look better.
And in personal life, not everyone is doing brilliantly. Who doesn’t know someone who has experienced serious illness, unemployment, or depression? And even if these troubles bypassed us ourselves, the human lot often seems unfair to us.
“Man is mortal, so he will never be one hundred percent happy” – these are the words of Woody Allen, whose works have never been particularly optimistic. But in fact, he is right.
But how then to maintain a positive attitude, because without it there will be even more problems … To believe that the best is ahead of us? Against the background of what is happening in the world and with ourselves, unbridled and naive optimism even seems indecent. Therefore, further discussion will not be about him.
Neither denial nor idealism
The belief that the world is beautiful, and that only happiness awaits us in the future, speaks of the desire to isolate oneself from reality.
“A person who believes in this is open to the light within himself, but absolutely closed to the world,” says transactional analyst Vadim Petrovsky. “This belief blocks his ability to perceive reality: the attitude to the good allows him to ignore all the bad, thereby distorting what is happening in reality.”
It is important to be able to treat your future, plans, ideas with confidence, but without too much pathos
Such optimism can only lead to disappointment in the end. Such a person repeats: “Everything will be fine!” – although the events of his life scream otherwise.
So, Madame Butterfly, the heroine of Puccini’s opera, kept waiting for the handsome officer who had abandoned her, believed in a better future, refusing to accept the present: “He will definitely return!” This kind of blindness in psychoanalysis is called “reality denial”.
This defense mechanism of the psyche is triggered when a direct look at what is happening becomes unbearable and a person begins to unconsciously deny the facts, thoughts and feelings that cause anxiety.
Idealism is another pernicious way of ignoring reality. Giving first place to feelings and ideals to strive for, it also leads to disappointment. To believe that the truth is the same for all, or that our well-being can depend entirely on only one person, is to lead ourselves into a dead end. Therefore, we will not talk about this kind of optimism either.
Pollyanna principle
Seeing the good in everything is a way of perceiving the world that is often referred to as the Pollyanna principle. After the sudden death of her parents, the heroine of the novel by the American writer Eleanor Porter, little Pollyanna moves to live with her aunt in the village, where she soon becomes everyone’s favorite. A unique ability to isolate a positive element in any, even the saddest events and a resolute rejection of everything gloomy help the girl to win the sympathy of those around her. While Pollyanna’s reality-enhancement strategy often speaks of underlying anxiety and may sometimes accompany post-traumatic stress disorder in modern psychological terms, in many cases it does allow us to deal with our feelings and see reality in a different, more optimistic light.
grow good
So is there a healthy positive way of thinking? Yes, and it is built on realism and hope. This is a “restless” optimism that allows you to treat the future, ideas and plans with confidence, but without too much pathos, foreseeing the obstacles that you will have to face. It’s not about “lifting our spirits” or “rebuilding our nerve cells” but about drawing strength from the feeling of happiness that comes when we think positively.
When a naive optimist says: “There are no problems, everything is fine,” a reasonable one will say this: “There are problems, but I will try to solve them.” He does not harbor false illusions, compared to idealism and the rejection of reality, this kind of optimism has a huge advantage.
True optimists are aware that they live in an imperfect world where love can fade, the innocent can be punished, and the sick can die, but at the same time they use their opportunities to understand and change the situation.
“Enlightened” optimism feeds the idea that for every problem there is a solution, albeit imperfect
“A reasonable optimist is always a risk-taker,” says Vadim Petrovsky. – He understands that in addition to his own premonitions, doubts, hopes, forecasts, there is a real world, the resistance of which will have to be overcome. He takes risks, but consciously, knows how to restore his resources and is able to gather again and go forward.”
What is the basis of such optimism? It arises from faith in oneself, the ability to enjoy life and the ability to act. And active, “enlightened” optimism feeds the idea: for every problem you can find a solution, albeit imperfect. This search in itself can bring a sense of satisfaction.
Have you lost your job? Maybe it’s time to change careers. Did you break up with your lover? Perhaps you will meet a person who will be a better fit for you. “It is better to hope that the chances of success are high, but at the same time be prepared for a critical development of events,” advises Vadim Petrovsky.
“I feel optimistic when…
… I remember how I went to live abroad. Difficulties began with work, communication, survival in a different culture, and I discovered something in myself that I had never realized before: I realized that I could not fold my hands and stop fighting. I feel like an optimist when, in spite of everything, I believe in myself and that all obstacles are illusory. Optimism is when you are lost in the forest, but you know that someone will definitely meet you and lead you out of it. It’s essentially faith in others.”
Anna, 27 years
Become an optimist
Can you learn to be an optimist? “Yes, but it takes effort,” says cognitive psychologist Tamara Gordeeva. “Books, personal therapy, communication with optimistic friends and family can help with this – and the desire of the person himself to change his attitude to life is essential.”
Some trainings promise to make a person an optimist in a short time. After their completion, negative thoughts disappear, pressure and the power of persuasion appear – a person feels capable of moving mountains. But when it comes to doing the things that matter most—building relationships, raising a child, resolving conflicting work situations—such optimism often deflates like a balloon.
Cultivating true, enlightened optimism in oneself is not such an immediate task: one must look for the pluses in life, but give due credit to the minuses, understanding and accepting their significance. The phrase of the creator of positive psychology, American psychologist Martin Seligman, from the book The New Positive Psychology (Sofia, 2006) sounds paradoxical: “In my opinion, only pessimists can write objective and useful books about a bright and joyful perception of the world.” But in essence it is true: to understand what a real spring is, you can only survive the winter.
National characteristics of optimism
Our tendency to optimism is also influenced by the properties of the cultural-historical model in which we live. “For Russian culture, a positive view of the world is not very characteristic,” says historian Natalya Proskuryakova. “For most of our history, physical survival remained the main goal for almost the entire population of the country. The formation of positive attitudes was also hindered by the role of Orthodoxy: unlike Catholicism and Protestantism, it does not imply a lifetime reward, referring it to the sphere of the afterlife. Soviet society at the declarative level was thoroughly optimistic, although it was difficult for such optimism to take root in the minds of people: their role in the state was too low, their financial situation was too precarious. Today, as the economic situation stabilizes, we have a chance to change our perception of the world. But for this it is necessary that we learn the values of civil society, the most important of which is respect for the rights of the individual.”