Empathic listening works for many, but not all children. The most difficult and intelligent children remember their goals, and empathic listening does not change them.
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In dealing with children, empathic listening helps children better understand and express their feelings, and makes it easier for adults to connect with them.
Examples of Empathic Listening
Participants of the conversation: mother and daughter.
MOM: Mashenka, it’s already late, all the guys are sleeping.
DAUGHTER: All day alone and alone, I don’t want more!
MOM: You play in the garden with the guys all day … (Recalls active listening.) You feel lonely …
DAUGHTER: Yes, there are a lot of guys, but they don’t let mom into the garden.
MOM: You miss me.
DAUGHTER: I miss you, but Sasha Petrov is fighting.
MOM: You’re angry with him.
DAUGHTER: He broke my game!
MOM: And you’re upset…
DAUGHTER: No, I pushed him so as not to break him, and he punched me in the back.
MOM: It hurt… (Pause.)
DAUGHTER: It hurts, but you’re gone!
MOM: You wanted your mother to take pity on you.
DAUGHTER: I wanted to go with you…
MOM: Let’s go… (Pause.)
DAUGHTER: You promised to take Igor and I to the zoo, I’m still waiting, but you’re not taking me!
An example is taken from the book Gippenreiter Yu. B. “Communicate with a child — How?”
External interpreter in children’s active listening
When listening to children, doing active listening is a very creative thing, because you constantly have to translate «something inarticulate and negative» into something meaningful and somehow positive. See →